Monday, October 25, 2010

The One Amish Motherfucker Who Knows How to Throw Down

SB would hang with this Amish. Clearly, motherfucker's Amish ass can throw down! I wouldn't hang with the other bitches though--mostly because motherfuckers don't drink and swear, and they're not liberal with the sexy times. Also the backwards bitches like to make quilts and cheese and woodcrafts and shit. BORING. Fuckers enjoy raising barns, for christsakes. All this = NO GODDAMN FUN.

And I had fucking well BETTER NOT be getting any Amish hate mail about this. You damn Amish aren't supposed to have computers. That electronic shit is the work of the Devil! Girl, you know it's true.

24 comments:

Parabolic Muse said...

sexy times...

Jeannie said...

We've got Mennonites here - like Amish - but they come in varying degrees. Some look like this dude - no electricity into the house (but they have refrigeration for the milk they produce). And then they have a billion factions - can drive a car but it has to be black - to others that are just like you and me - well, sort of. We saw one old order kid give the finger to some guys in a sports car. We have a good friend who grew up like this but left that world (and was shunned for it) because he loved motorcycles and red sports cars. And he likes a beer or two. He's still pretty conservative but light years different than his family.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dear SB, there was a great documentary series on recently on Channel 4 where a group of Amish teenagers came to live with some British teenagers. It was essential viewing! Thank you for your lovely comments at mine. Love you xx

Mr.Mischief said...

Is that Weird AL from his "Amish Paradise" video ?!?

Petit fleur said...

That picture is priceless.

Amish make good cheese. I like that about them.
xo

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Hey, it's Weird Al!

A and I spent some time in the Amish country in Ohio; toured the cheese factory, took a ride in a buggy, considered drawing faces on the dolls, and hid around trees taking their pictures and stealing their souls. Now that I know they are some of the largest puppy-millers, I'm done with them!

Big Mark 243 said...

They could be reading this on their rumplestilskin night, where they get to try the outside world to see if it fits or not.

That is cool to have that debauchery and stuff for one night... by why would you give that up? I don't get it, have it for one night then put it back in the closet like it never happened... you know you guys had a threesome with Farmer John's daughter, niece and cousin!!

How could you willing say, 'no thanks, I'm drivin'' and never want to do that againAA?? Hard to purge some memories... and that is one that I wouldn't be able to get out of my mind!!

ZenGato said...

I'd like to think it could be a lot of fun being a bad influence though. You know some of those bitches got the fun in 'em. They just need people like us to bring it out!

West Hollywood Voyeur said...

My fav. sentence is " Not liberal with the sexy times"
It might be fun to send you my first Amish hate mail tho! Just kidding! Love it all!!

The Wit Continuum said...

Tell you though, they do make wonderful food...our local fairs are a regular stomping ground for them...since I'm from Pa I appreciate that. This pic however is too funny...cannot possibly be real...but who knows...

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

The Amish would not be my first choice for a Saturday night, but I probably wouldn't be theirs either so it's even.

They do like to have their way with the wood (or not).

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jeannie,
I could NEVER be Amish. My ass likes to drank too much. Also, I like sexy times!

Christina,
Wish I could have seen that show. You and I would not make good Amish. Laugh. Love you too!

Mr. Mischief,
HA. Looks a bit like him.

PF,
Yes, they do. That's one use for them.

Mel,
Puppy mills? I did NOT know that. Go figure. Fuckers.

Big Mark,
Really. I am so with you.

ZenGato,
You hang with them, babe. After you teach them how to have fun, bring them over to my place. Laugh.

West Hollywood Voyeur,
SB loves you! No Amish hate mail, please.

Jenn,
You are loved. If the fairs don't feature booze, and I assume they don't, count my ass out. Laugh.

Reensters,
Yes, fuckers like wood. Laugh.

Ms. Moon said...

Someone has to make quilts. Damn. It gets cold up there.

white rabbit said...

Why is the horse on the right wearing a hat and spectacles?

Young at Heart said...

oh this picture has really made me smile...that's some face furniture too!!

Tatyanna (and Dorian too) said...

That's awesome! I was briefly fascinated and wanted to go visit the nearby Indiana Amish ...settlement? city-state? whatever. But when I looked into it more closely and saw the crafts and cheeses and shit, I was like nevermind. My BF couldn't figure out why I suddenly didn't want to go anymore. I'm like, because if I went to an Amish community, then I would want to stay like IN someone's HOUSE with them, like Harrison Ford in "Witness," ya know, and like see what is really going ON, okay? And from what I can tell, if you visit their Indiana place, you can only shop for blankets and take hayrides.

Leslie said...

I hired an Amish guy to replace my roof. He was hot. All my friend came over to watch him work.

And I'm not kidding about that.

xo

Sarcastic Bastard said...

White Rabbit,
You are BAD. So much for the good manners of the English. Laugh.

Tatyanna,
I was curious, too, until I found out the motherfuckers can't watch TV or drink. Curiousity OVER!

Leslie,
Got pictures? Laugh.

Love to all,

SB

michelle said...

That looks like Weird Al.

I have a weird I wanna be Amish fantasy.

Horses. Quiet. Farms. Quilts.

I'm an idiot.

xoxoxo

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Michelle,
No drinking. No dancing. No cussing. Women do all the cooking. No kinky sexy times.

Have I helped you discard that fantasy yet? Laugh.

Love you!

Syd said...

The Amish are the main perpetrators of puppy mills, farming the dogs and breeding over and over again. Sad stuff. I have no use for that. Poor animals.

downtown guy said...

Okay, you know me, I have to lay down the facts (even if they are not as fun as the silliness). First off, that's Weird Al, as some folks already pointed out. Second, there's no such thing as Amish rumplestilskin night. I think Big Mack was talking about Rumspringa, which is a common Amish term for late adolescence. It's the time between 16 or so and when they decide to either leave or join the church as an adult. Some kids engage in a lot of rebellion - driving cars, dressing "English" (ie, non-Amish), doing drugs, having sex, etc. Some don't. It's sort of a pop culture idea that all Amish kids go buck wild during Rumspringa, but that's not really accurate. Anyway, facts. You know I gotta.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
I know you gotta. It's one of the many reasons I love you! My bro is SMART.

downtown guy said...

Love you, sis!