Oldster Trips on Escalator

You are too fucking old when you can't even get safely on the damn escalator! It's not like it moves all that damn fast, people! It doesn't take a great fucking deal of coordination. The scary part is that after this escalator ride, this guy is probably getting into a car to drive home or to the nearest hospital to have the gashes from his fall stitched up. Imagine the conversation when he signs himself into the Urgent Care.

Nurse: Please describe the accident.

Oldster: It was an unfortunate escalator accident.

Nurse: Uhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm, okay.
[The Nurse wants to laugh her ass off, and she's thinking if you can't even be stepping your ass onto a damn escalator, your ass SURE AS HELL should not be driving a car!] [Okay, I'm picturing Wanda Sykes, who is God, in the role of the nurse. Read it again and picture Wanda as the nurse--it's funnier then.]

Maybe there should be an age limit cut-off in order to be eligible to ride the escalator. And maybe we should let Wanda Sykes police all of our Nation's escalators because Wanda doesn't take any shit. I SAID, GET YOUR ASS OFF OF THE DAMN ESCALATOR! IS YOUR DUMB ASS DEAF?

Why is it funny when an old dude falls NO MATTER WHAT?