Why I Read the NY Post on a Daily Basis

If SB misses a day of the Post, I might miss out on a paragraph like the one below. [Also the Post uses the word tragic in almost every story in some capacity. If a story is tragic, I am compelled to read it.]

This paragraph is from today's exciting Chimp Attack story! If you want to read the story in full, the link is below.

"Each night, Sandra Herold and her beloved chimp, Travis, would share a glass of wine before snuggling in bed together."

Uhhhhhhmmmmm, okay. What the hell? On the other hand, if I come back as a chimp (due to my bad Karma--it could happen, people!), I'd like to be Sandra's chimp. At least, I could still have my wine. I'd be Sandra's monkey bitch for a glass of the vino each night.

Here's how I'll look. This is my ass as a reincarnated chimp.





















I know you are compelled to read the ENTIRE Chimp Attack story now, after this scintillating morsel.

Here is the damn link: http://www.nypost.com/seven/02182009/news/nationalnews/why_chimp_went_bananas_on_gal_155740.htm