Uhhhhhhhhhhmmm, OK--BARF

My ass is so afraid of snakes, I jump sometimes when I see a stick on a walking path. Can you say BARF?

From the NY Post this morning.

B'DAY BOY'S HISS-STERIA
By KAVITA MOKHA and CYNTHIA R. FAGEN

February 18, 2009

A Brooklyn birthday boy playing on a sofa with his pal got the terrifying surprise of a lifetime yesterday when a 4-foot snake that had sneaked into the house slithered out of a cushion.

Jay Jhomar, who had just turned 7, said he and Danny Yunstella, also 7, were quietly coloring in their books when the party crasher - a 4-foot boa constrictor - peeped its head out.

"It was staring and waiting for someone to eat," Jay said. "I was a little scared, and we were screaming. I called my mom, who was in the kitchen.

"I like snakes, but not crazy snakes."

The boa, which is not poisonous, was taken away by Animal Care and Control. It's believed to be a pet that got loose, but its owner hadn't come forward as of last night.

Jay's mother, Danielle, said she thinks the stray snake slithered into the Bensonhurst home around 11 a.m. through a partially opened living-room window to escape the cold.

Jay and Danny were alone in the living room when, out of the half-zipped cushion, the serpent emerged.

"I felt something on my back," said Jay, who put on a brave face after the run-in. "I was excited. I thought I found a toy in the couch. It felt like a ball."

"The snake's head popped out," Jay said. "He was wrapped up and looked like a ball.

Fearless friend Danny then stepped in. "I put my hand on the cushion, and I felt it wiggling," he said, clearly delighted by the memory.

"I'm not afraid of snakes, so I grabbed a broomstick and pulled it out."

Danny said he would've liked to keep the slithery stranger.

"I love snakes. I would have taken good care of it," he said.

Danielle Jhomar, 28, had other plans.

"I tried to pick it up and throw it out [in the back yard]," she said. When that didn't work, she went to call cops but couldn't find her cellphone.

She bundled up the kids and went looking for a payphone but ran into a patrol car first.

The two officers went back to the apartment and trapped the reptile, which was still perched on the couch.

They secured it in a pillowcase and then drove it to the Animal Care and Control Center in Brooklyn.

A spokesman said the snake will likely not be claimed because boas are illegal to own.

It will be evaluated and then most likely sent to a sanctuary, he said.

Additional reporting by Josh Williams