Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Morning Report: Some Dumb Cunt Was Driving Erratically in the Cocksucking Passing Lane

On the way back from picking up over-priced coffee this morning, I get behind some dumb whore who is driving very erratically. Bitch is in the passing lane and keeps getting caught behind the stopping school bus in the slow lane, because she is moving so fucking slow. So my ass risks my neck and speeds up behind the school bus and zooms over in front of her to pass her short-bus ass, only to find out that the stupid cunt is putting eyeliner on in her pull-down mirror. I thought momentarily about following her to her destination and beating the shit out of her, but settled for a dirty look instead. Dumb cunt. If looks could kill, a ho would be dead and buried.
[Sorry about the increased usage of the word cunt--actually I'm not sorry--it is my goal to work that word into conversation and descriptive phrases more often. I feel it's highly under-utilized.]

Ladies (and maybe some gentlemen),
If your mongoloid ass is going to put makeup on in the damn car, at least pull over in to the cock-sucking slow lane. Is this too fucking much to ask? I think not.

9 comments:

Misfits Vintage said...

Amen and OUT, cunts! Listen to SB or suffer the motherfucking consequences!

xxx

adrienne said...

dear ms. bastard,

there is very little that i dislike more than drivers who seem ignorant to the fact that they are manuevering a death machine through a herd of death machines.

that being said, perhaps it is time to give up high-priced coffee? maybe switch to decaf?

just a thought.

xo

Jeannie said...

I think "cunt" should only be used by the female gender much like "nigger" otherwise it is demeaning to the gender in general. That said. The woman is a stupid cunt. That goes for anyone texting too.

Love you.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sarah,
Damn right!

Adrienne,
Perhaps you are right, my dear.

Jeannie,
I agree. Only women should say it EVER.

Love you bitches,

SB

Ms. Moon said...

It is not too much to ask. Jesus. I can't even put on eyeliner in my bathroom.

West Hollywood Voyeur said...

Your right she was a dumb cunt-I'm laughing super hard right now! Wanna have a gay marriage and live in a trailer on a lake somewhere! LOL!


WHV.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I love the word cunt...it's one of the few words that people still find truly offensive.

Tomorrow morning I will move my ass into the slow lane for safety while applying eyeliner...but for the record I can still drive 70mph and apply it too.

Have a lovely weekend SB. Are you getting together with the moms? We have plans for brunch...IF I survive the 5K. :)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

WHV,
There are few women I would rather live in a trailer with. All we'd do is laugh at the cunty neighbors.

Mel,
You and A have a great weekend, too. The Moms is coming over to watch the third Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movie. We love them. I am making her some Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, so we bitches can celebrate in style. I love you mucho.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

I can't even drive so it wasn't me. My friends and I used to overuse the word cunt just for fun. She should have been in the cock sucking slow lane.

Love you very much xx