Bust a Nut for America!

I just received an e-mail from President Obama imploring all of us to bust a nut (okay, he was a little more eloquent than that) and work hard to make America a better place to live. If I had known that Barack would expect me to work at all, let alone HARD, I would have voted for somebody else. I really just wanted a candidate who was going to fix everything themselves and leave me be. (Just kidding. Sort of.) That's what Americans really want, I think--to be left the hell alone.

Anyhoo, in the spirit of the inauguration, I decided to work harder today, so I actually SHAVED ONE LEG for the President. If you knew how badly I hate to shave my legs, you would understand my personal sacrifice for this country. So now, I have one itchy leg and one not itchy leg, but I did it for Barack, so I am trying not to complain a whole lot. Complaining sort of negates the sacrifice.

If the President reads this tale of personal sacrifice and decides that he wants to erect a statue with one shaved leg in honor of me, I guess I'll let him, but only if Bill Clinton shows up for the dedication ceremony and I get to hold his hand. I'm not getting out of bed for anybody but Bubba.

Since I have a full-time job and a diarrhetic dog and don't have a lot of time for volunteership, I figure my contribution will be to use this blog to implore you readers to get off your dead asses and get out there and volunteer in my place. SO GET OUT THERE AND BUST A NUT FOR AMERICA! You can volunteer in my name if you like. Feel free.