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SARCASTIC BASTARD BLOG
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Crocs Are Fug--Get Over It
You wouldn't catch SB at the morgue in these ugly fuckers. If a guy I dated showed up in these, IT WOULD BE THE LAST DATE.
Mr. Moon has a pair of crocs that look like that. Not red, mind you. But I saw them gathering dust in the garage the other day. Now on the other-hand, I wear crocs. But they are the CUTE, dainty crocs. Really. http://www.6pm.com/crocs-alice-black and http://www.campmor.com/crocs-womens-cleo-sandal.shtml?source=CI&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=19219
Crocs are the only shoes I wear. But I have very strict rules about them. I only buy them in black and chocolate to match my black and brown work pants, and I get the ones with no holes in the top. But bottom line, I don't care if they're ugly. My feet don't hurt.
Oh, God, I know so know what you mean. I was standing in line at the grocery the other day. There was a really cute girl in front of me and, as I'm wont to do, I was checking her out (old and married? yes I am. Dead? not just yet). Anyway, as I my eyes worked their way down, the entire package was totally blown because she was wearing these stupid fug ugly yellow crocks. And they totally did not go in any way, shape or form with the cute outfit she was wearing. Why O Why ruin a good thing? I wanted to smack her upside her head. Her husband/boyfriend must not have seen this, or he did not have balls enough to say, "Hey babe, you look great except for the screaming yellow crocks. Don't go out in public like that. Come on." Sometimes ya gotta wonder about people...
Do you want to know what I find the most disgusting thing about them? Nurses who wear them. Um, they have holes. Do you really want to some crack heads blood on your feet? I think not.
when i stress fractured my heel running in crappy shoes my doc recommended crocs. they were ugly as fug and i made the mistake of getting the ones with the toe vents which my prehensile toes were always wanting to poke through. i loved them because as ugly as they were, they made it possible to stand for the 8 hours at work and then walking around campus for my classes at night. i wore the first pair down to like where all the nubs were worn down and tried to repair them with some of those sticky bathtub decals. liked them so much i got a second pair after the first ones wore out even though i didnt need them. then my principal found out i wasnt wearing real shoes and like a week later they got thrown out at work by accident...coincidence or croc conspiracy????
I must confess a deep secret here. My name is Lori and I wear crocs occasionly..I am currently in treatment for my problem and hopefully with much counseling I will be able to overcome my problem.. Look for my on an episode of Intervention soon.. I will be the one with the black crocs on. I almost stole a tv to buy a pair but I haven't crossed that line. Pray for me...
Is that one of your kitties? Awesome picture. I love the disdain. Or maybe it's anger.
I have a couple pair of croc-knock-offs. I pretend I only wear them when gardening (nice to have shoes you can water-cannon off the clay) but they're so comfortable I sometimes 'forget' they're on & go for errands.
So my question about your date-&-croc-wearing-comment: Do you believe the old saw about relative sizes? Would that make a difference in your decision not to date him again?
I am a Gen-X, lazy, manic-depressive bastard, with an eating disorder, OCD, and a propensity for alcoholism. I am basically hell to live with, but I enjoy red wine, Ritalin, reality TV, and disdainful cats. This description could also be useful as a personal ad for a dating service.
15 comments:
Mr. Moon has a pair of crocs that look like that. Not red, mind you. But I saw them gathering dust in the garage the other day.
Now on the other-hand, I wear crocs. But they are the CUTE, dainty crocs. Really.
http://www.6pm.com/crocs-alice-black
and
http://www.campmor.com/crocs-womens-cleo-sandal.shtml?source=CI&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=19219
Because you know- I have good taste.
I hate those things. Especially on cats!
Do you know crocs live 3 millenium in the landfill??
Crocs are the only shoes I wear. But I have very strict rules about them. I only buy them in black and chocolate to match my black and brown work pants, and I get the ones with no holes in the top. But bottom line, I don't care if they're ugly. My feet don't hurt.
I believe it, Lou.
Steph,
Got ya.
Lou, I believe they are recyclable.
Oh, God, I know so know what you mean. I was standing in line at the grocery the other day. There was a really cute girl in front of me and, as I'm wont to do, I was checking her out (old and married? yes I am. Dead? not just yet). Anyway, as I my eyes worked their way down, the entire package was totally blown because she was wearing these stupid fug ugly yellow crocks. And they totally did not go in any way, shape or form with the cute outfit she was wearing. Why O Why ruin a good thing? I wanted to smack her upside her head. Her husband/boyfriend must not have seen this, or he did not have balls enough to say, "Hey babe, you look great except for the screaming yellow crocks. Don't go out in public like that. Come on." Sometimes ya gotta wonder about people...
Tom,
I wouldn't fuck Angelina Jolie if she was wearing those things, and that's a sad thing to admit.
Love,
SB
I have big ugly Crocs cause I have big ugly feet. But they ARE uber comfortable.
I'm sure Ms. Moon looks smokin in hers as she does have dainty feet n rockin legs.
I, however, do not
Do you want to know what I find the most disgusting thing about them? Nurses who wear them. Um, they have holes. Do you really want to some crack heads blood on your feet? I think not.
when i stress fractured my heel running in crappy shoes my doc recommended crocs. they were ugly as fug and i made the mistake of getting the ones with the toe vents which my prehensile toes were always wanting to poke through. i loved them because as ugly as they were, they made it possible to stand for the 8 hours at work and then walking around campus for my classes at night. i wore the first pair down to like where all the nubs were worn down and tried to repair them with some of those sticky bathtub decals. liked them so much i got a second pair after the first ones wore out even though i didnt need them. then my principal found out i wasnt wearing real shoes and like a week later they got thrown out at work by accident...coincidence or croc conspiracy????
xxalainaxx
I admit that I have a pair but I only wear them out in the backyard to clean up dog poop and stuff like that when the ground is wet.
I must confess a deep secret here. My name is Lori and I wear crocs occasionly..I am currently in treatment for my problem and hopefully with much counseling I will be able to overcome my problem.. Look for my on an episode of Intervention soon.. I will be the one with the black crocs on. I almost stole a tv to buy a pair but I haven't crossed that line. Pray for me...
Is that one of your kitties? Awesome picture. I love the disdain. Or maybe it's anger.
I have a couple pair of croc-knock-offs. I pretend I only wear them when gardening (nice to have shoes you can water-cannon off the clay) but they're so comfortable I sometimes 'forget' they're on & go for errands.
So my question about your date-&-croc-wearing-comment: Do you believe the old saw about relative sizes? Would that make a difference in your decision not to date him again?
I don't own a pair and neither does my wife. They are ugly and dorky IMO.
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