Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Almay Dumb Shade Makeup

I splurged and bought some Almay Smart Shade Makeup last night and played it safe and bought the light to medium shade. I put it on this morning, and now my ass looks like Dennis Rodman or some shit. And I'm a pasty white bitch. Way to go, Almay! Smart Shade, my ass. Why do your damn shades ALWAYS have to run darker than everybody else's? And isn't that shit SUPPOSED to adjust to match your damn skin tone? BIG LIE. [cough] BIG LIE.

I'm so glad I wasted my hard-earned money. And also, your current spokesmodel is a damn whore. Bring Elaine Irwin back. We liked her better!

13 comments:

mrs. miss alaineus said...

i can't do almay. their shit exacerbates my eczema. i like loreal and revelon for foundation/ powder. i swear by it. it works!

xxalainaxx

Jeannie said...

I hate buying foundation - most places don't have a tester and you're supposed to guess from the plastic colour on the outside of the bottle?

Steph(anie) said...

I haven't worn foundation since high school for just that reason.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Steph,
I either get the damn shade too dark and have streaks, or I get it too light and look like I belong in fucking Noh theater. GODFUCKINGDAMMIT.

Syd said...

Glad that I don't wear makeup or have to figure out what shade I would need. I wonder if Keith wears anything besides eye makeup.

Omgrrrl said...

Good to know. I almost bought this shit myself. I guess I will stay with wrinkles and the occasional NASTY pimple as my foundation.

TwistedScottishBastard said...

This may be a rather wierd question, but why the fuck did you put the cream on your ass (or arse as we say in quaint little New Zealand)
I know we're a little different from the fucking weird shit that happens in the fucking wierd USA, but I'd have thought that even the extreme fucking wierdness that exhibits as the USA, putting makeup on your ass, just in case it's displayed to the general populace is a bit beyond the pale.

Spadoman said...

Uh, I am a man and I don't usually wear makeup, but I believe you're suppose to use it on your face and not your ass. (But I bet that Rodman look makes anyone's ass look good!)

Peace, Love and Hugs

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

I always wear foundation. As my freebie Dior stuff's run out, at the moment I'm loving Maybelline dream matte or Loreal true match.

Love you xx

Ms. Moon said...

This is why I do not wear foundation. Except for plays.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I'll learn from your mistake my dear. Don't buy that damn Cover Girl stuff that Ellen advertises either; the shades are terrible.

Go with the mineral stuff. It's much more forgiving.

Sweden said...

i dont understand why u didnt test it first?? everywhere i go they always test it on you???? even if they dont have samples, theyll open one..
then again i only wear "expensive" foundation , lise watier ($45), Clinique ($40), or chanel ($65)

i did for a year wear this loreal (from the drug store) one which is like cheap, but even then they tested it on me
(the tem im talking about are the make up counter girls)

cant u return it since its not even close to yer colour? they should since they didnt have testers available, i mean where the hell do u live?? in nazi germany where u cant test make up or return if its not to your liking lol

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mel,
I DO like the mineral makeup. It rocks.

Sweden,
No, in Buttfuck, Ohio, we are not progressive enough to be able to return that shit if the shade is wrong. Are you kidding?