The Famewhore Squirrel Welcomes Motherfuckers to Sarcastic Bastard. It's not easy being THE SPOKESWHORE OF AMERICA, but sometimes a bitch has got to sacrifice!
SARCASTIC BASTARD BLOG
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Dear Fat Ill-Mannered Yankee Swine Tourist
It isn't polite to ask your hostess about the shooting that was committed in the mansion to which you've been invited, especially when the shooter was the hostesses brother.
You embarrass me, ill-mannered Yankee swine tourist.
Please go back home.
Oh, when will you go back home?
Quite frankly, we will be happier to see the back of you than General Sherman.
I'll go but when I return I'll bring more books y'all can't read, pop that will rot your teeth, and the arrogance of superiority that comes from believing in emancipation even though black people scare us as much as they do you...
Ms. Moon, Good morning! It was something that happened on our visit to Mercer House in Savannah. Yes, THAT Mercer House. And it was a damn woman from damn Ohio.
Mark, I'm not frightened of black people. I'm more frightened of white people.
I lived in the heart of tourist country in Miami...we called the invaders tourons because they checked their brains at the airport & never picked them up.
So you got a trip to Savannah! Yea!!! Hope you got to share it with the Viking. Romantic country and GREAT food.
I am a Gen-X, lazy, manic-depressive bastard, with an eating disorder, OCD, and a propensity for alcoholism. I am basically hell to live with, but I enjoy red wine, Ritalin, reality TV, and disdainful cats. This description could also be useful as a personal ad for a dating service.
11 comments:
Okay. I want to hear the entire story. Good morning, Ms. Bastard-Beloved!
I'll go but when I return I'll bring more books y'all can't read, pop that will rot your teeth, and the arrogance of superiority that comes from believing in emancipation even though black people scare us as much as they do you...
dearest sb,
i hope i never piss you off.
love,
adrienne
Ms. Moon,
Good morning! It was something that happened on our visit to Mercer House in Savannah. Yes, THAT Mercer House. And it was a damn woman from damn Ohio.
Mark,
I'm not frightened of black people. I'm more frightened of white people.
Adrienne,
It couldn't happen, dear.
Love to all!
SB
I lived in the heart of tourist country in Miami...we called the invaders tourons because they checked their brains at the airport & never picked them up.
So you got a trip to Savannah! Yea!!! Hope you got to share it with the Viking. Romantic country and GREAT food.
you had me at ill-mannered Yankee swine tourist!!
x
Kathleen,
Touron is great. I love it! And you.
Young at Heart,
I figured you'd get me. Laugh.
Yes, I totally understand. We are besieged by the Ohioans here too.
Looks like my sweetie was back in town! :)
Yikes. Something ugly happened!
xo
Mel,
Good one! Laugh.
Love you and A.
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