Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm About to Have Really BIG Hair, Peeps!

SB just purchased THE REVOLUTIONARY Instyler. I'm about to have REALLY GREAT hair, people! I even paid extra for RUSH delivery, because great hair really CAN'T WAIT. [My ass may just wait by the mailbox until it arrives.]

I saw this shit on TV back when I was married, and Mr. SB deemed that shit too expensive [cheap motherfucker--I kid, I kid--we are divorcing as friends]. I even pleaded with him that purchasing the Instyler could REALLY BE REVOLUTIONARY and change my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! To no avail. NO AVAIL.

I've always wanted BIG NEWSCASTERY HAIR! Not having that shit could be what's standing in the way of my PERPETUAL HAPPINESS. Maybe if I had perfect hair, then I will be REALLY AND TRULY HAPPY.

I promise not to get all snotty when I have the BEST HAIR IN DAYTON, OHIO! All the men will be chasing my ass and shit, but I promise to stay the same HUMBLE SB you all know and love. BIG HAIR does not equal BIG HEAD.


Heather said...

you could always hid things in your hair then. snacks.. weapons whatever you life

Syd said...

Just don't do a BIG mullet.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

An old friend of mine used to hide joints in his hair in the 70s. The damn things would wash out in the shower sometimes!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

A mullet is tempting, since that's such a big style here in Ohio still.

I am thinking of you and your friend this week. Peace to you both.



May said...

The higher the hair, the closer to God!
SB- I know you're camera shy but you've just got to give us a pic of your hair once it's "done". Even if it is just of your hair. You will be beautiful!!!!