Sunday, May 3, 2009

No Posts Today Because of Fat Russell Crowe

There will likely be no more new posts today (I'm posting to say I won't be posting--there's irony in that) because SB is going to see her man Russell Crowe in his new movie. I dig Russell because he's a grouchy SOB. We would make a great pair! I like my men surly.

I also like the fact that Russell got all fat and shit and then refused to drop the weight to play Robin Hood. They even had to alter the costumes. Finally, the director said: Damn it to hell, Russell, we can't have a fat Robin Hood. You've got to drop the lard, mothefucker. Actually SB said that because NOBODY WOULD EVER TALK TO RUSSELL'S PHONE-THROWING ASS THAT WAY EVER!

Anyhoo, it took Russell SO LONG to drop the damn lard that the original lead actress had to drop out, due to other commitments. Actually, it was pretty smart on Russell's part, because now Cate Blanchett is playing Maid Marion. It took multiple pairs of Spanks, but Russell's formerly fat ass is currently costumed-up and filming.
[Side note: Wouldn't Fat Russell Crowe be a great name for a band?]

I love Russell Crowe so much that I'd still hit that shit running even if he was a fatty. More to love, peeps!

I love you readers, also. Thank you from the bottom of my Cold Stone Creamery heart for reading. You motherfuckers rock!

8 comments:

birdpress said...

I agree that Russell Crowe is pretty awesome. I didn't know about the weight thing because I live in a cave, but that makes me like him even more too!

fatal flaw said...

Hey Broad
I love every inch of ya 'cold stone cremery heart' and btw wise up girl cos it's not.
Love
Nick XX

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Birdy,
I hope the cave has portable space heaters. My ass hates to be cold!

Hugs,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks my dear Nicky Nick.

Love,

SB

Mimi said...

Yeah, what is it with Russell being hot EVEN when he's fat, unshaven, etc? And why did I suddenly imagine him in a "Men In Tights" type movie? Note to Russell: If you're wearing green tights, please lose a bit of weight. For us ladies.

Sheria said...

Aw, just what I needed, a good laugh. I'm overworked and extremely grumpy because of it. I really should have worked harder at finding a sugar daddy when I was young.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm with you, Mimi, but I'd still hit that shit EVEN IN GREEN TIGHTS!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sheria,
Sorry you are so overworked. I hope you got to have some damn fun this weekend. Thanks for taking the time to read, despite the fact that you're so busy.

I am with you on the sugar daddy thing. Man, oh man. If I ever marry again, it will be for money.

Have a great week.

Love,

SB