Friday, May 1, 2009

A Polite Note Declining Jury Duty

Below is an actual note that Erik my new best friend Slye of Montana sent when he received a Jury Duty notice in the mail earlier this year.

Apparently you morons didn't understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I'm not putting my family's well-being at stake to participate in this crap. I don't believe in our "justice" system and I don't want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F__K alone.

Maybe I should offer Erik a guest blogger position here at Sarcastic Bastard when I go on vacation later this year. You readers won't even know I'm gone.

7 comments:

Lou said...

Did he really get away with that?

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Your secret post is ready SB.I'll be making a comment on your Bad Art feature in a moment. Love and wishes, Shane.

Gledwood said...

Why don't they bloody pay people for jury service? Then they might not get juries full of illiterate dolts barely able to read the oathal declaration (the London jury I saw sworn in at the Old Bailey were like that ~ and it says everything that you couldn't in practice reject these people, because the System would have great trouble finding any better-educated replacements. This is where TV representations of courtrooms fundamentally veer from reality. All the jurors I saw were thick as pigshit. I'm glad I've never been on trial in front of a load of them, if my getting off relied on them comprehending anything a well bred burgerigar could intellectually grasp...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lou,
Actually he did NOT get away with it. He was forced to serve and got a stern lecture. They basically said serve or go to jail.

I still got a kick out of the letter. Sounds like something I would get fed up and write.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Shane. Can't wait to read it! You are a dear.

Love to you, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

My Dear Gleddy,
So happy to see a comment from you! I hope the move is going well for you. I have been praying your weather will be nice for it.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

SB

Sheria said...

As you know by now, I speak my mind. I'm so sick of people whining and complaining about jury duty and blasting the justice system. Guess what? We are the justice system and if it sucks it's because we suck, because we are too damn lazy to get of our asses to do our civic duty. Erik is a sorry excuse for a citizen. Nothing ever worked well or got better because people sat around and just bitched about it. If you don't like the way the system works, do something about it!