Friday, May 22, 2009

SB Needs Some Damn DEET, Motherfuckers!

It's that time of year, and SB's ass needs some DEET, motherfuckers! Ah said, motherfuckers, I NEEDS ME SOME DEET! I sat out in the backyard in the peaceful shade of the Mom's tree, getting hopped up on Stella last night, just digging the springtime scene. And today, I have BIG ANGRY RED WELT mosquito bites all over, especially anywhere those motherfuckers could bite to really drive my shit crazy! Elbows, ankles, and so on and so forth.

I know DEET is not good for you, but I'd spray my damn ass down with Agent Orange if it would keep those bite-y little bitches away!

All of you peeps have a safe and happy and debauched holiday weekend. Watch you speed and wear you damn seat belts, because the po-pos are going to be out there ruining people's merriment and shit. They asses got to work, so y'all gone a suffer right along.

My ass will catch you on the flipside, motherfuckers!

8 comments:

Lou said...

Ouch!

Mimi said...

Damn, SB, you've got some guns! And btw, you haven't seen a real mosquito until you've been to Houston - those things are fucking helicopters.

Happy Memorial Day!

Gledwood said...

Don't catch malaria! I heard it's still present in North America (and Southern Europe)...

When I was in India they used to burn "mosquito coils" ~ basically a fancy-shaped and expensive joss stick. I'm sure an ordinary joss stick would have done the job just as well. And smelled nicer.

Hey how does the idea of Vienna grab you. I'm thinking of emigrating there as well now. Also they do really nice cakes out there ...

;->...

Fishwhiskers said...

lemme be ur DEET!!! LOL xxx

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sorry to disappoint, Mimster. That's not me in the picture. SB has some skinny, long motherfucking arms.

I hope you had a good holiday weekend. I packed for a move all weekend and didn't even open my laptop! That's a rarity.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Gleddy,
Vienna sounds AWESOME, my brother. I heard it's beautiful.

Good for you!

Thanks for reading. I love your blog!

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Fishy,
I am so glad to hear from you! I was worried about you when you didn't post for a few days.

I hope you are happy and well.

Much love,

SB

Syd said...

The green head flies were biting as were the mosquitoes. I got a bite on the bottom of my foot! We pulled the sheet over our heads and sprayed and held out breath. DEET is nasty stuff but it kept the bugs away.