Saturday, May 9, 2009

All Dogs Go to Heaven: a Post from Syd

Check out this post (link below) at my friend, Syd's, excellent recovery blog: I'm Just F.I.N.E. It made me laugh so hard. It's a church war, peeps! And for once my ass is siding with the Catholics. Of course dogs go to heaven, you dumb Presbyterian fuckers! [And don't you damn Presbyterians be putting pro-Presbyterian shit in the comments section either. I can see what's coming. Actually, I lied, confrontation is welcome because that will drive my readership totals up.]

Anyhoo, SB always reads church signs as I drive by (I am compelled) and then usually curse for about a mile down the road about how damn ignorant the sign posters were. I get myself all worked up. Sometimes, I even argue with myself and pretend to be the person who posted the ignorant fucking sign AND GET EVEN MORE WORKED UP. It's fun to be angry goddamnit! To be angry is to be alive, and if I teach you nothing else from reading this blog, let it be that! Also, you will never be bored if you entertain yourself, because who else is going to do it? Certainly not that fat fuck Rush Limbaugh or that swine Bill O'Reilly. Okay, I'm getting TOO worked up now. I need to go cut the lawn or some shit and calm the fuck down.

Here's Syd's church sign war post:


Mimi said...

I am SO with you on this one. There's this bill board I always see for some stupid church that says, "Are YOU going to Heaven? Or to HELL?"It has fire in the background. OH MY GOD, I hate that sign. Yeah, let's scare people into going to church to save their own asses. That's EXACTLY what Jesus had in mind. Dumb fucks.

Aunt Becky said...

I have some plates you could break in anger. Because anger is great.

Fishwhiskers said...

Funny somebody else reads church signs, coz I read them too. The hilarious one by a church near me should have read: God made them all .... but whenever I go past on the bus from the distance it looks like:

Never fails to make me giggle. K xx

birdpress said...

That was hilarious. There is some blog devoted to church signs; have you seen that? I forget the name of it but you can easily search for it. I think it is Crummy Church Signs?

Syd said...

I read church signs too. I'll have to post the one about piercing that I photographed. It was kinda neat. Have a great day SB. I am in total agreement on Rush and Bill O. What a pair.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm with you on that Mimster. I would never join a church out of fear. It's the damn evangelics proppagating this shit.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Do please post the one about piercing.

Thanks for reading, and you have a great week, too!



Sarcastic Bastard said...

I have not seen the church sign blog but I will look for it.

Thanks for reading and commenting.



Sarcastic Bastard said...

God Made the Mall. That is funny!

Have a great weekend!

Love you,


Herbert Barry Woodrose said...

I, as usual, laughed my silly ass off at your post. "Certainly not that fat fuck Rush Limbaugh..." So out of nowhere. Perfect. Lash out like an angry hell cat! Perfect.

I posted over on my blog that sometimes, just like you, I get so worked up and I gotta just chill. I watch these bizarre Youtube vids of reggae records spinning.

Love the site as always.

Ms. Moon said...

There must be (and I'm not kidding) at least twenty churches within a ten mile radius of my house and many of them have signs. If I see the one that says, "God accepts knee mail" one more time...well, it's not going to be good.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Thanks for checking out my blog. "God accepts knee mail," huh? That shit's gag-inducing!

I'm with you, sister.



Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks for reading and commenting, dear Herbert! We are two peas in a pod.



Mark said...

The funniest thing is when you warn all the frothing Presbysterians to hold off from commenting.
"Quick Ida, throw your Prayer Book!"