Friday, May 1, 2009

In Honour of My Dear English Friends/Readers

Since SB has nearly as many English readers of this blog (per capita) as I do American readers, we are going to implement some new word spellings to make our English friends feel at home here. I am attempting to improve relations with Britain, so suck it up American readers. Your complaints ARE NOT welcome. Also, I figure the English ought to know how to spell English words right, since the English language was invented over there.

Anyhoo, it bothers me when people think I misspell shit because I'm an English major and a damn editor for a living, so I'm just pointing this out, so you'll know I'm not misspelling words out of ignorance or because I was too damn lazy to use the spell check.

Here are a few examples of words that are spelled differently in good old England.

color = colour
theater = theatre

Here are a few examples of slang words that my dear English friends use instead of ours.

crisps = potato chips
moggy = cat
boffins = scientists

When I use an English term, I will put the meaning in [ ] parentheses for you Yanks. I love the English tabloids (especially, The News of the World), and also I lived in England for a summer so I am familiar with Brit speak.

I LOVE MY ENGLISH READERS! Have I sucked enough English ass in this post? And can any of you bitches Air Mail me some scones? SB LOVES THE SCONES!

Seriously, I do love you all. Thank you for reading. God Save the Queen and all that shit.


Anonymous said...

LOL you are on form today
as well as slang we have a couple of secret languages.
there's a gay one, I only know one phrase
'varda the trolly's on that' which means ...nice legs..LOL
and where I live in the East End of London there's ryhming slang..
apples and pears is stairs
A Ruby Murry (she was a wartime singer) is a cuury
A syrup of fig is a wig
and a serbert dipping is a whipping.

So I was followed up the apples and stairs and got a right serbert dipping from a geezer (bloke)who then went for a Ruby leaving me in need of a syrup of fig for life is commonly heard LOL.
There's also a secret language I think in Glasgow, they certainly have words that are unique to them.
Nice post made me chuckle.
Love ya
Nick XX

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Wow, the rhyming slang is strange. I never would have picked up on those meanings.

Thanks for reading, Nick. SB loves you, too. Have a great and safe weekend, dahling. Are those two things possible together? Great and safe? LOL.

Lou said...

You didn't put "cat" in () when you used moggy in the previous post. Just sayin'

Vincent Santa Cruz said...

First off, an 'ass' is a donkey, you arse!

Secondly, when using rhyming slang, you must NOT use the second element.

For example, "pen and ink" means stink, but you would say "there's a horrible pen in here".

Ginger beer is queer, so you would say "he's a ginger, that bloke".

So, with "Gypsy's kiss", you'd say "I'm just nipping off for a gypsy's".

Farking easy mate!

Mimi said...

"God save the queen and all that shit." LOL. I actually have a lot of Russian readers. I'm not sure what to make of that.

Oh, and "moggy"? WTF? How did that one come about?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Everybody's a damn critic!



Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks for the edification there, Vincent! 'Tis farking easy NOT.



Sarcastic Bastard said...

I can't figure the moggy thing out either. I just like the word. Maybe Vincent or my dear Nick can help us out.

Russian readers, eh? Interesting.

My best,


Vincent Santa Cruz said...

The term "moggy" was originally applied to old cows, and strangely enough, whores. It is a play on the name Maggie, and was used to describe a cow or hooker who was on her uppers.

As country folk migrated to the towns, they applied the term to the mangy old cats that roamed the streets.

Nowadays the term is no longer used for old cows (we know call them old cows) or for washed up hookers (we call them Mum). However, the term has stuck for cats.

We sometimes call old women a 'Doris' to imply they're a retired prostitute.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks A LOT, Vincent. That made me laugh and laugh. Mum, eh?


Mark said...

I find the most striking difference to be between the two meanings of "fag." It never ceases to give me a start when I hear it in England, as I briefly tense up as if I'm in high school again.
What I love about England English is that they have more accent variation in an area the size of Minnesota than we do in the entire United States.
And that it's not considered "faggy" to drink tea there. Strike that. It's not considered pooftery.

Mark said...

Thought you'd be interested to know, as an editor and wordsmith, that in France the slang is called "verlan" (or "wardsback"). They reverse syllables, to sound cool, which I find a little easier to decipher than rhyming slang. So you'd be the Casticsar Tardbas.
I like it.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Casticsar Tardbas. I like it, too.

Have a terrific weekend. Thanks for your comments, Mark. Catch you on the flip side, my brother.


Findon said...

Lou sent me over to see you. Love what you posted. It's true that you "yanks" do seem to be getting to grips with our simple language, albeit slowly. Seriously, nice to meet you and hope to see you over at mine.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks a lot for visiting and commenting, Findon. I will definitely check your site out.

Come back and see us again.