Wednesday, September 29, 2010

SB's Lazy Uninspired Fat Ass Is Taking the Week Off, Motherfuckers

Everything is fine. I'm just not into it. Since this gig doesn't pay, I figure, fuck it.

I'll be back next week with an update on the born-again biker NEIGHBORS FROM HELL. Dude is back from rehab. SB is thrilled!

Dipshit asshole motherfucker awakened my grumpy ass at 6:30 this morning by starting up his LOUD clangy piece-of-shit vehicle and banging shut the goddamn door to the party-plate car. Where the fucker was going at the hour is beyond me. Fucker and his wife are both unemployed deadbeats currently. My tax dollar is supporting these two hot messes and their cretinous offspring.

Clearly, I am in a shiny happy place this morning. The sun shines out of my ass.

Until next week, kiddies. . . .

Love to all my motherfuckers,

SB

8 comments:

Kathleen Scott said...

I recommend a margarita night for a quick vacation. It won't get rid of the next door neighbors but you'll feel better for a little green therapy.

And if you use fresh limes, I'm sure it counts as a serving of fruit. Chalk one up for nutrition.

Syd said...

Maybe he was going out to score some drugs. Sounds like you need a vacation. Come to the rainy South and we will cheer you up!

Jeannie said...

Enjoy. I will love you even in your absence.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Kathleen,
I like the way you think woman!

Syd,
That was funny. Maybe he was. Laugh.

Jeannie Dear,
And I, you.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dear SB, looking forward to the next installment. I love Kathleen's advice. Why don't you have a really loud party and start doing everything you can think of to piss them off? xx

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Love to you dear SB. Ugh! I hate neighbors. Around this neighborhood, I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Melly Mel,
I wish you and A were my neighbors. What a ball we'd have! We could get together in the back yard with martinis and all of our menagerie. Someone would call animal control, probably, with all those cats and dogs running around. Laugh.

I love you. Love to A too!

SB

Ms. Moon said...

I could bring chickens. Alive, molting chickens. Would that help get the party started?