Friday, December 17, 2010

I dropped Puppine's precious feline ass last night, motherfuckers. THE HORROR. THE HORROR.

I was trying to give Puppine the outdoor Chrismas snow experience, but her ass didn't appreciate that shit very much, and the bitch climbed up on my back. The Viking was standing there, and since it was sort of an awkward thing, to be bent over with a damn feline on your back, I tried to dump Puppine's ass off my back on to a snow-covered table. A bitch is supposed to land on her damn feet, right? Am I right?

When I went to dump Puppine's ass off, a bitch refused to get her precious feet wet, so she just fell on her side with a loud THUMP. Even the Viking, who is NOT a particular fan of Puppine's, was concerned. Half the night, my petrified ass lay awake, eyes staring wide in the dark, frightened that I had internally injured Bella Puppini. It was a damn horror, I tell you.

16 comments:

Steph(anie) said...

She's fine. Cats are pretty tough, and it can't be that far from your table-back to the ground.

Kathleen Scott said...

Poor baby Puppine! And poor you since you love her and didn't have any intent to harm. Although Puppine would possibly mutter about why you thought she'd want to experience frozen water...

Ernest would hold that over me for days.

Kathleen Scott said...

PS Sounds like The Viking loves you--he cares about your cat even when he's not her biggest fan.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks Steph! Love you so.

Kathleen,
I think he does love me. Poor bastard. Laugh.

I adore you!

Syd said...

I sure hope that Bella is okay. Never had that happen but then I don't carry the cats around on my back.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
Thank you. I think she is okay. Maybe you should try the cats-on- back thing. Look at it as a sort of bonding experience for you and your pet.

MMLJ said...

i hope the bitch is alright

Sarcastic Bastard said...

MMLJ,
I think the bitch is okay. She's meaner than hell, so she must be alright. Thank you and thanks for reading and commenting.

Best,

SB

The Wit Continuum said...

Only the most reluctant of pusses would miss falling on her feet...snow, my dear? Are you crazy!? I say this with much love. Cute story, and I hope Bella's okay. I'm sure she'll weigh the guilt on you as much as possible. I saw this little poster while Christmas shopping yesterday. It said, "Who's the real boss of the house?" and there was a picture of a cat sitting there. Very cute, and very true.

Love ya,
J

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Jenn! I think her ass is fine. It scared me though. Puppine is special to my heart.

I loved the Bukowski poem you posted about cats. I printed it off and hung it on my fridge. It may be my favorite poem now, so thanks for introducing me to it.

Love you!

Big Mark 243 said...

Not to understate the kitty's health, but I would be surprised if anything is wrong... but it does go to show how much the Viking care for your feelings... perhaps that is what this ill-fated excursion into the snow with Pussy was supposed to be ... an opportunity for him to show his love for you...

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dearest SB, what a silly cat! I'm sure she is totally fine and you were only trying to make her have a bit of fun! Love you xx

Bethany said...

silly woman taking Puppini outside in the snow!
Glad she's okay.
I hate thatfeeling, worrying about our animals, especially if it was from something we did. Argh!
The Viking deserves a TREAT!

Scott said...

Dumbass cats!!!

DarcC said...

Glad she's okay. I just picked up a sick feral kitten last week, he's currently halfway back to good health, and eating me into the poorhouse.

Parabolic Muse said...

oh, that is SCARY! I'm so sorry! How is Puppine?


I hope she didn't select that name for herself.

xo