Sorry you had those sorts of dreams. They really fuck with your rest. I had weirdo dreams again last night, and then to boot, I woke up at about 5:00 and couldn't go back to sleep (I get up around 6:30 normally). I should have just gotten up, but when it's cold out, I like my beddy. I lay there and thought about how, if I am lucky(?), I have 20 more years or so left, and then I started thinking how quickly the last 20 went, and I got VERY FRIGHTENED of DEATH. So that shit was productive, right?
I have my follow-up appt. with the urologist tomorrow at 4:00. So today, I am keeping my Bladder Diary [I shit you not.], recording how much I drink and when I piss and how much. I feel like a fucking geriatric. Jesus.
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8 comments:
Look at Uncle Gene- you're going to live forever! You have to in order to help take care of my old decrepit ass when I'm crippled and demented.
Jeezus I have that same thought every night when I can't sleep and it makes my heart race even more. Then I get pissed at myself for wasting whatever time I have left with that crap and try to thinkj happy thoughts, but you know how that works, right? Twin sisters from different mothers? Sorry about your damn bladder, and I feel you pain for feeling so old so soon. It Just Sucks. hang in there.
I know! I think like this all the time now. And I'm thinking - holy shit - I still haven't figured out what to do when I grow up and I'm gonna be dead before I get it worked out.
I don't know what to say, darling. Sometimes being only internet friends the amount of concern that can be expressed does not alway get across.
I hope that you hear good news and you are not the only one who is aware that there is less sand in the top of the hour glass than there is at the bottom.
{{{hughs}}}
Love & Rockets!
Mark
Ms. Moon,
My family's bodies hold up, but the minds go all to hell. We're in trouble, sister! If we're lucky, they'll stick us in the geriatric home together.
Mel,
Thanks for your kind words. Maybe we are related. I have cousins EVERYWHERE. Love you!
Jeannie,
Me too. But what can we do? I adore you.
Big Mark,
I feel your concern, and I appreciate it greatly.
Regarding the sand in the hourglass, at least I am in good company. Much love to you.
Oh boy. You and I have a lot in common. I told about my Christmases left thought before I even read this.
Oh yeah. Life is short.
I'm glad that you aren't shitting on your Bladder Diary.
I'm with you. I can't even go to a funeral. No kidding. I can't deal with it. I love forensics and things about crime and murder of complete strangers or fictional characters. But the idea of not being just freaks me out. Also, the pain or boredom that comes with being ill. I can't think about it during the day, much less at night in bed! no way.
I hope your bladder is okay...?
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