Monday, August 9, 2010

Quote of the Damn Day from My Idol, Ms. Moon

Anyway, once when I was a kid I was walking down a road and it was around sunset and I looked up and the clouds were in the strangest formation I'd ever seen. They looked exactly like a giant archway and were lit with that incredible gold-colored light that sunset can bring and there were rays shooting all over the damn place and I stood there and trembled in my flip-flops. Surely, dear god, this WAS the Rapture. It had to be. I waited for Jesus to come through the archway but he did not. As I waited though, I wondered, having already learned in school about how the earth rotates daily, how the people on the other side of the world would know it was Rapture Time.

I still wonder about this. Will the Rapture be televised so that if we get the live event here in North America in the Eastern Standard Time, they will get the live feed in Australia? Maybe that's what's taken Jesus so long to come back. The technology had to be developed. Makes as much sense to me as anything else having to do with this bullshit theory.

[All, I've got to say is: Rapture my ass, which is pretty much what Ms. Moon said, too, but WAY more eloquently. Check out the full post in all its glory here:
Click, motherfuckers!]


Ms. Moon said...

I knew you'd like this one, you damn beloved fellow-sister-heathen.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I loved it. That Sweet guy is a damn pinhead.

You are my heart-family. I'm glad we'll be together after all the damn assholes are swept up and away.

They shall NOT be missed. Laugh.

ZenGato said...

This was a great post. I read the whole damn thing out loud to my girl and she howled. Ms. Moon falls into the category of "people who say things I wish i had said."

Denny Coates said...

I first heard about "rapture" in 1973. After grad school I returned to West Point to teach English. While mingling with my fellow officers, I was amazed to discover this concept. Even more amazing, how many of these intelligent fellows and their wives believed it. The need to deny death, to be considered special and good, to have all of the wonder of life MEAN something - is powerful enough to make people ignore the facts and common sense and put stock into an outrageous notion cooked up by a charlatan. And now, after 40 years of talking about it, it's apparently a part of the culture. Why I often say, "We live in primitive times."

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Yes, Ms. Moon is so fucking cool and honest as hell. I love her to bits. She is priceless.

We certainly do live in primitive times. Amen to that.

Findon said...

Its one of the best ways to wind up the pentecostals, ask them when He is coming. "So the last time you said HE was coming he didn't show, and the time before that, and the time before that, in fact he hasn't shown at all as he"

Well thats that then, we'll put the champagne on ice for another year.

love to you and yours

Sarcastic Bastard said...

That was fucking funny.

Love back to you and Beautiful,


Jeannie said...

Geez, I forgot to come back and comment to you after I wrote an essay to the beloved.

The Rapture is pure whacked out bullshit and is nowhere even in the bible. That's just a dream people have who think the world is going to get really really bad and they don't want to face it.

Maybe the Vietnamese guy promised his kid a birthday dinner at Arby's. They do love a bargain. Of course that's stereotyping on my part.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

The euphoria with which those Arby's coupons were greeted was just damn scary.

Love youse,


Syd said...

I hope to go out doing something I enjoy that has nothing to do with biblical teachings. Something deliciously rapturous.