Christmas According to Sebastian Horsley

SB is a BAH HUMBUGGER, and I couldn't agree more with this passage below. I despise the season of DESPAIR and DREAD. One of the best things about my impending divorce is that I will no longer have to even slightly acknowledge the holiday. I can hole up in the house with my case of strawberry ripple and the two cats and dog. I do like having the extra days off at work though. There is that, motherfuckers.

But aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day: a joyful celebration of the birth of Jesus? Isn't it strange how the whole world observes Christ's birthday while absolutely nobody observes his beliefs.

Jesus was a great and radical philosopher. Here was a truly autonomous mind; here was someone who was prepared to do his own thinking, no matter what the price. A Jewish thinker enrolling in the school of the Greek cynics, he drew on traditions of outspokenness, shamelessness and unconventionality. He spoke of anarchy, anti-materialism and identification with the poor.

His message, quite simply, was that family and personal property must go. Only then could we have peace on earth and goodwill to all men. So we celebrate Christ's birthday by gathering our families together and stockpiling mountains of possessions to wage war on one another over TV schedules and who will clear up.

Gentle Jesus, meek and mild? No one made more trouble than this baby. The ass-like cult of Christianity that stands around his manger is the antithesis of the man. Christ was an anti-Christ. He was a true radical.

So do celebrate Christmas, my dears: that season when we remind each other of the birth, 2007 years ago, of a Jewish revolutionary by giving tacky commodities to the children of people we dislike.

Christ came to save us from sin. You might as well make his birth meaningful by committing them. Happy Kiss My Ass.