The funniest thing about the company X-mas party (besides the fact that I hugged some bitch at my husband's party and told her I loved her, who I don't even like, because she runs around at fifty-some with her chichis and shit hanging out like a goddamn whore), was the fact that I bought Queen-size thigh highs, thinking that they would run longer (SB has very long legs). But HELL TO THE NO, those cocksucking things were the same goddamn length, but of course, BIGGER around the thigh area, so everytime SB got up from the table, those cocksuckers rolled down to about MID-CALF LEVEL. MOTHERFUCKER. (That shit was a handicap for the multiple cocktail runs I had to make due to the fact that all alcoholic beverages were only a damn dollar.)
Finally, one of my co-workers suggested I just get rid of the cocksucking things, so I promptly did, underneath the table like any fine damn lady would do.
The rest of the night, my ass walked around in my long black skirt, with pale albino stick-like calves underneath. I had to beat the men off with a fucking stick.
Actually, I'm old enough now that I could give a flying rat's ass.