Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Shit SB Says

The only thing I don't like about my new place is that the neighborhood is too damn busy. Every time I stop to scratch my ass, there is a fucking neighbor out there, watching me do it. I'm a private person. I need my damn space.

[I threw a little Mayan ass-scratching art in this post to educate your dumb asses. It can't be about fun all the time, motherfuckers. You've got to learn something once in awhile, too. You're welcome.]

14 comments:

Mel said...

I need my damn space too. Talking to a neighbore or listening to neighbors makes me crazy. I planted 40 some trees here a decade ago and have established the perimeter. If I had a gate at the end of the driveway, I'd like it a whole lot more. Getting the mail is treacherous. Anyway,

You really made me laugh. I could waste the rest of my worthless life educating myself about everthing and nothing, so thanks for the ass scratching Mayan sculpture. It's awesome.

If you knew how I wasted my miserable, cat pissed on the bed sore as hell snowed in morning, you'd tell me to quit scratching my ass and whining and go do something! Anyway, hope people stay out of your shit. Hope you have an OK day too.

Bethany said...

Mayan ass scratching art! Oh you are priceless.

Danielle said...

maya ass scratchiung eh?

i borrowed lars and the real girl today because of the review..hope it ll be as funny as you wrote..:-)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mel,
Thanks for commenting. Glad I made you laugh. That's why I do it.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Bethany,
Thank you, babe.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Danielle,

Thanks for your comments. I hope you like the movie. I laughed so loud at one point, I probably scared my neighbours.

Love,

SB

Gledwood said...

I know exactly how you feel. Starey people really piss me off. I remember when I grew up during my teenage years in Wales, the country attitude to staring was totally different to London... yes they'd just stare away utterly unapologetic as if it wasn't a crime!!

Danielle said...

@ sb

scare those neighbours..they deserve it!!

Ms. Moon said...

Love the art. I wish it was mine.

The Dish said...

Imagine living in the same apartment complex you work at and 80% of your tenants know where yours is. Fuck.

Petit fleur said...

He looks more like he is ass pinching! Either way, he's marvelous.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
I would kill myself. Whatever they pay you, IT IS NOT ENOUGH.

Love, SB.

Syd said...

I like being able to pee outside and only the squirrels watch. It's nice to be on a farm.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
You are a lucky man. Maybe one day, I'll come visit, and you can take a piss and I can scratch my ass on your farm, and we'll both pretend not to see each other do it. At least there won't be any nosy neighbours looking on.