Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Damn New Year

Did you survive the damn holidays? Sometimes that's the cocksucking best we can do, motherfuckers. Just make it through that silly seasonal shit without blowing our goddamn brains out.

SB's fat ass is back to work today and tomorrow, then off again for five more fucking blissful days. Court for the divorce is on Wednesday, bright and goddamn early. I am not looking forward to it, to say the damn least, but will be happy to have it all over and done. And also, I want my two dollars. I'm ready for the financial proceeds of said event, though they won't be much. My creditors are standing by, salivating like motherfuckers. Fuck you Discover Card.

I would have checked in over the holidays, but my ass was unmotivated to post or do much of anything. Besides which, I am sick a-fucking-gain. My nose is red like goddamn Rudolf today. I guess it's just all the stress of the past year with the move and the divorce and everything shitty. This is the fourth ailment I've had over the winter so far. I am so fucking sick of being sick. Maybe I'll just be sick until summer. Whatever.

I did bond a little with the schlub (Siamese-Himalayan kitten) over the holiday. He is now following my fat ass around, staring vacuously at me. That shit's okay. I think this may only be because he has figured out that I am oftentimes the bearer of food. Whatever. It's a goddamn start. I figure he sort of likes my ass if he is following me.

I don't know how much I'll be posting the rest of this week. I figure, I don't get paid to do this cocksucking blog, and I'm not going to be a prisoner of my own damn creation. I'll post when I goddamn good and well feel like it. I'm not going to be a whore to my blog. Get me?

I hope all of you had good (or at least passable) Christmases/Festivuses/Kwanzaas/Hanukkahs/what-the-fuck-evers.

Here's to the New Year! It couldn't suck much worse than 2009.


downtown guy said...

It's been a good one down here, but having your around would have added to the fun.

michelle said...

I totally agree with you. 2009 sucked the Big One. Glad it's almost over. 2010 better be better.

Sorry you're under the weather. Hope Wednesday goes OK.

I want my two dollars??? Is that from Better Off Dead? One of the funniest stupid kid movies ever? If it is, thanks for the reminder. Goin now to netflix it.
Happy Motherfuckin New Year SB


allthistrouble said...

I still owe Discover millions of dollars. It might as well be millions...

I will think of you Wednesday in divorce court. Oooooo, I wish you could go to real Divorce Court! I'd love to see you on TV, SB!

I hope to be back to reading blogs in a more regular fashion. I've missed you desperately and when I saw that photo of May talking to you on the phone for Christmas, well... I wasn't jealous, I just felt sad to have lost our regular contact.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sounds like a shitty year for you, best to you for 2010.

Ms. Moon said...

Well I am really sorry you are sick again but I am thinking your immune system is probably not functioning at all due to stress. It's been a hard, hard year for you and that's just all there is to it.
I surely hope you feel better soon. Just get through this week and then let yourself collapse for a few days. I sure wish you were here because I'd take such good care of you and we all would. We would make you soup and paint your toenails. And give you hairdos. And we would watch crazy movies and you could pet Pearl all day and night and she would look at you with her old adoring eyes. You could kiss Owen. He would give you googly smiles.
And so forth.
We love you, Ms. Bastard. Just in case you didn't know that, I am reminding you.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, DTG. I loved talking with you.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Yep. Exactly. Better Off Dead. Great film.

Happy New Year!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I've missed you, too, broad.

Here's a big FUCK DISCOVER CARD for both of us!

Love, SB>

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Back at you, buddy. Happy New Year!

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon, I love your guts. Wish I were with you all, too.

I'll give you a ring at some point over the coming long weekend.

Jeannie said...

I'm so fucking glad you survived it all so far - I wouldn't want to have to delete you from that following shit. I don't like being a slave to updating.

I don't care if you think you'll get skin cancer - go tanning. Seriously. I was sick all winter every winter since kindergarten until I started tanning. It was a friend who figured it out because I wasn't sneezing and snotting all over her all the time. She noticed. I rarely get sick now. And if you use the lotions, you won't get fucking wrinkled either. Even if you just buy the cheapest lotion and use a good moisturizer for your face plus some vitamin E on your crow's feet and such you'll be okay.
Just go once a week if you don't like it. But seriously. Do it. You'll feel so much better.

Tom said...

God love ya, SB. And if He don't, you know I do. 2010 will be better. If it's not, you can take it out on me.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

That's a VERY DANGEROUS, but sweet, offer.

SB loves you.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

On second thought, I guess it wasn't any more dangerous than sitting next to my drunk ass at the Christmas party!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

SB loves you. Happy fucking New Year!

gingermagnolia said...

I'm sorry you're sick again, and hoping that once all is said and done on Wednesday you feel some relief.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks. You are a doll, and I loves ya.


Syd said...

Hang in there SB. You have a kitten, a head cold, and a divorce hearing. It will make for an interesting week.

The Dish said...

I hope everything went as smoothly as possible today! Thinking of you.