Monday, December 14, 2009

There Was a Kitty Rave at My House Last Night

SB is here, but a tired motherfucker. The cats had a goddamn kitty rave in the middle of the night last night, raising a rukus in and around my bed. Cocksucking moggies were flying everywhere. They were on the coffee table. They were on top of the backs of chairs. So I yelled at them and attempted to shoot them with water in the pitch dark. Yeah, that was effective. Then, the Diarrhetic Wunderkind (dog) got afraid of the water bottle and wouldn't lie down on her bed, so then I had to yell at her dumb ass. Motherfuckers are going to be shut in the bathroom tonight. My ass is TAHRED today.

Later on, I'll try and post about the company X-mas party, which took place on Saturday. Put it this way, I did not drink a single alcoholic beverage all day yesterday. Also, I am not the best person to have at your table when liquored up and playing trivia. SB was a tad loud and gave some of the sonofabitching answers away. Fuck it. Nobody will want to sit with my ass next year. Whatever.


The Dish said...

Lock ALL their asses in the bathroom. Every last one of them.

I had a hell of a time sleeping myself last night. Maybe it was the elbow to the ribs every 30 seconds because I was snoring too loud. Or the 50 lb dog laying on top of me. Or the bed and blanket hogging fucking spouse. Take your pick.

I would love to sit next to your loud, answer giving ass. Anytime.

Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes my dogs go into that hyper-manic mode too. I don't understand it. Too bad they don't still sell paregoric over the counter any more.
And when you come visit, you can definitely sit next to me when we play Trivia and it will be AWESOME!
Love you, dear...Ms. Moon

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish & Ms. Moon,
There are no two chicks I'd rather park my loud ass next to for trivia.

Splendid idea about locking the whole shitting kaboodle in the bathroom, except probably they'd knock holes in the wall and shit. Those fuckers are wild!

Love you both.

Kathleen Scott said...

Seven cats going at once, now that's a mental movie. And the dog too. Too much.

AND the office Christmas party. That's one good thing about writing at home for pennies, no office parties. And no Trivia. Of course you gave the answers away, that's all Trivia is worth.

Petit fleur said...

I hate company Christmas parties.