Monday, December 21, 2009

Human-Cat for Adoption

I will crawl around your house and do cat-like things in exchange for only cat food, water, a litter box, and occasional treats. Cat-cats are more of a hassle than human-cats. If you are looking to adopt a cat-cat and have been researching the matter you already know what I mean. There is less research to be done on human-cats, so let a friendly little fellow into your house today and be one of the first to spearhead a fledgeling community.

I will not speak or do anything human-like, only cat-like. I look out windows, become enthralled with small objects, run across the house in the middle of the night and make a terrifying sound in the corner, nuzzle you with my head, etc. You must take care of me as you would a cat-cat.

Email me for details.

[Uhhhhhmmmmmmmm, NO.]

9 comments:

Steph(anie) said...

Won't do anything human-like... except type english words and post weird fucking craigslist ads.

Sweden said...

why DO they go nuts at 3am huh
Mango runs around the living room and meows loudly to herself about 1 hr after ive gone to bed, then she gets her black toy mouse and drops it in my lap and i have to throw it in the kitchen and she plays fetch for 15 min

Jeannie said...

That sounds like a sick fuck mooch.

Ms. Moon said...

Shit. I was totally going to adopt you.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Ewwww! I feel a little violated.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Steph,
That made me laugh.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sweden,
My cats do that shit too. And when it's all fucking seven of their asses together, it's quite frightening.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Will you stare at your ass and lick your balls too?

The Dish said...

That's just fucking creepy, SB. If I were to adopt you, I would much prefer the human version of you.