Monday, December 7, 2009

Over the Top Award from SB's Good Buddy, Chic Mama

Well, I guess if anyone is Over the Top, it's my dumb ass. Below are the requisite questions that go with the award.

Thanks, Chic Mama. SB adores you!!

[I'm not passing this award along because I'm a selfish motherfucker like that and that shit starts getting too much like a damn chain e-mail. The awarding stops here, bitches! If some of you motherfuckers don't want to give SB a future award because of this shit, then fuck you in advance. I could give a shit.]

1) Your Hair
Medium length; medium brown.


2)Your favourite food
Frozen pizza.


3)Your dream from last night
I had motherfucking five cats in bed with me. You have to sleep to dream, bitches!


4)Your favourite drink
tie: red wine and Pabst with Clamato juice


5)What room are you in?
I'm in a damn cubicle. It's a glorified broom closet.


6)What is your hobby?
Drinking, collecting cats, eating compulsively.


7)What is your fear?
THE CANCER.


8)Where do you want to be in six years time?
Alive.


9)Where were you last night?
At home with the cats, drinking and eating frozen pizza and then not sleeping.


10) Muffins?
WTF? Gross.

11) Last thing you did
Listened to the fat guys a few cubes over discuss where they are going for lunch.


12) What are you wearing?
This is far too personal and sexy a question for this public forum. I try not to discuss my vagina here for the same reason. And also, the Moms gets mad when I talk about my vagina on my blog.


13) Your TV in your house?
What about it? It's a flat-screen high def, and I would marry it if I fucking could. I love it that much. Men come and go, but a flat-screen is for life!


14) Vehicle
Dirty beat-to-shit Hyundai Sonata.


15) Your favourite store?
I don't like to shop, but I do like food, Starbucks, and a vast wine selection, so I guess it would be Kroger.


16) Your favourite colour?
Black--the colour of negation and death. It also minimalizes a bitch's ass size. What's not to love?


17) When was the last time you laughed?
Watching
Lars and the Real Girl last night. That movie is fucking funny.


18) When was the last time you cried?
When my gallon jug of Gallo wine was empty.

19) Your best friend
Jesus.

20) Favourite place to eat
Hooters.

15 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

You are the funniest woman on the internet. You may be the funniest woman on earth. I love you. I adore you. I want to go to Kroger with you. I want to watch High Def TV with you. I would even drink Clammato with you.
Please be my friend forever.
Love....Ms. Moon

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Done deal, Ms. Moon. Goes without saying.

My life would be shit without you in it.

Chic Mama said...

Yay! We know a bit more about you!!I hope you cook the frozen pizza? ;0)

Christiejolu said...

Congrats!

LOL! You are a riot!

Tom said...

I second all those emotions...

Heather said...

HaHa thanks, I needed a good laugh

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Chic Mama,
I do, indeed, cook that shit.

Laugh.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Christiejolu,
Thanks, woman!

Mel said...

Thanks for the laughs and the confirmation that we have a bit in common, I loved that movie to name just one. The laughing was great for the endorphin rush and bad for all the pulled muscles, it's a bitch when life mocks you by making laughing hurt. But keep doing it, please? If I were the award giving type, I'd find one that says your blog is awesome. I'm toasting my next glass of wine in your direction.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Mellie Mel. SB loves you and her ass is toasting you back!

The Dish said...

You know what is worse than muffins? Muffin tops. I strive to never have one. Mr. Burns rocks them daily.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
Yeah, what's up with that shit anyway? What makes the tops so damn great? Stupid overfed spoiled American horseshit.

Syd said...

Muffins--SB needs to know what anatomical part that describes.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Help a bitch out there, Syd.

The Dish said...

A muffin top is when a chubby broad wears pants that are too tight and her fat roll hangs over the top of her pants. It bulges over the top. Like a muffin top. Unflattering.