When I stopped home for lunch, I decided, since I am dieting, I would have JUST ONE precious Reeses Peanut Butter Christmas Tree. Yes, I could have had a really big nutritional salad, but instead I opted for the small chocolatey Christmas tree, and your asses would have done the same thing, so just stop thinking you're all lofty and shit. It's human to eat the smaller fun item.
Anyhoo, Bella (nicknamed: Teeny Weeny Puppini), my black kitten, decided that she simply had to sample what her mother (SB) was obviously so enjoying. Her dumb ass liked it! I couldn't believe it. How fucking cool is that?
Since Teeny Weeny Puppini was a feral kitten and found on a highway, I realized suddenly (light bulb) that her ass may have been living off shit like discarded Reeses cups. Maybe Puppini developed a damn taste for that shit when she was "on the streets." That little bitch has street cred, man. When your skinny ass is on the street--you ain't picky--you eat what's in front of you.
If Puppini goes for my Lucky Charms tonight, I'm going to think her ass lived in, or near, a crack den. And Lucky Charms are a FAT-FREE FOOD, so that makes them prime diet food, smart-ass motherfuckers. As a bonus, they're magically fucking delicious. And also, I'm part Irish, so when I eat Lucky Charms or use Irish Springs soap, I support the poor starving bastards back home. You Irish can thank me later.