For anyone who hasn't seen the forecast for the fucking godless fuck country that is the Mid-west today, we have a high winds WARNING from 7 a.m. this morning to about 1 a.m. tonight. A cold front is moving in, and we HAVEN'T HAD SUN IN DAYS. I'm beginning to suspect the Sun has died, and quite frankly, I am contemplating slitting my wrists.
To top it off, I took Nyquil again last night for the cough that is still somehow hanging on like a crazed Jewish mother, and I could not get my lazy fucking ass out of bed this morning, so then I had to run around like a crazy motherfucker (okay, a MORE crazy motherfucker), throwing cat food at the startled moggies, showering in under five minutes (yeah, I'm a bastion of personal fucking cleanliness), dressing so quickly, I'm lucky my clothes match and my damn fly is zipped, and then running my fucking fat ass out the cocksucking door in order to make it here to work five motherfucking minutes late! I arrived in time to hear my rotund colleagues discuss what they are having for lunch. [B. did not like the sweet and sour pork at the local Chinese buffet. He felt it was a waste of his money.] Thank Jesus H. Christ I didn't miss that shit. I'm glad I hurried. No, I really am.
[Note: I borrowed the Title phrase PISSWANKFUCKTIT from the lovely Hugh Grant, who I adore, despite his admitted shallowness.]