I remember one time ex-Mr. SB and I went camping (we liked each other then) , and we went to sleep for the night, and the next fucking morning, a little fat ass (just like the one in the photo above), left all the fruits and vegetables and shit, but cleaned us out of Twinkies and Cheese Doodles.Why couldn't the little sonofabitch have eaten the carrots, my fat ass complained? Jesus. Fucker ate all the good stuff! Motherfucker ate all my damn Twinkies!
The trip went to shit after that. You can't have a good time camping without toasted Twinkies. Fuck marshmallows and s'mores and shit. That shit's for amateurs.
13 comments:
That masked bandit has had way too many twinkies.
I went out front the other night to turn off the sprinkler but stopped on the steps because of crackling noises and an odd squeaking. I've never heard a skunk make that noise but I don't usually stay nearby when the skunks come around. Turns out the squeaker was a mother raccoon and three little ones, cleaning up fallen birdseed. Too cute for words but I won't think that when they start knocking down the hummingbird feeders.
But did he drink your beer?
Sounds like a road trip I took with the ex and getting lost and no restroom in sight. She had to take a whiz and wanted to be 'husband and wife, one cup'. I couldn't do it for her and that was terrible trip.
OMG too effin' funny...that poor raccoon...way too FAT!!! I found one in our neighborhood and think that ti was and has been eating the local cats, literally.
I find it sadly funny that the raccoon at your twinkies and not your carrots. I LOVE campfired Twinkies too!!! YUM!!!
xoxox
G
That is a big raccoon. Yikes.
I've never recovered from watching my sweetie stumble half-naked out of our tent, grab a chunk of firewood and beat it against a tree while screaming "Coons!"
Yeah, little fuckers always take the good stuff.
Toasted Twinkies? Like over a campfire?
Kathleen,
How cute! Wish I had seen them.
Big Mark,
You make a SB laugh.
Gabriella,
Great culinary minds think alike!
Mel,
I dig A. Bitch rocks.
Syd,
Fucker is humongous.
Michelle,
Yep. You got it.
ok i know im late but this shit is classic memory gold!
Dovie,
You are never late, my friend.
Love to you,
SB
Love that fat ass raccoon! He makes me smile.
Dish,
Yeah. Can you say overfed?
Brilliant! That is one fat racoon!! xx
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