My Gang Stalking still continues, some days it’s all that I can do not to wish the snitches away, but that would mean wishing pretty much all people away. (I am ok with that.) I like my alone time. I love my privacy, to have that taken away has been a real violation. I don’t mind my privacy invaded by people who have my best interest at heart, but I do mind my privacy being invaded by those who do not. In fact I mind it a great deal most of the time, but sometimes there is not much you can do.
So what have I been thinking about? Sometimes I feel like the whole world already knows and I hate that, because my thoughts are private, and anyone who cares about me would respect that. I don’t care if a few close people know my thoughts, but not the whole world.
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5 comments:
See- I do want the whole world to know my thoughts because yes, they are that important.
They are!
Please continue to share your thoughts because dammit you and your thoughts are important...xxoo
Looking at your traffic feed and seeing 'Omaha, Nebraska' and knowing that is 'me' is just the wildest friggin' thing to me! Took me three years to get here!!
As simple and confusing as this post sounds (to me) I do think that I understand even if I can't say that I comprehend. The reason that I understand is that I tell myself that I want to be alone but I never quite manage to get it.
When I used to live alone, I regularly would look around and try to bask in the solitude and the quiet of being alone. Not only physically but emotionally as well.
Oh, I am a cat who is 'reachable' emotionally and with whom you can connect with. But it is when more is asked of me in the connection where I get confused. That is why I do things like 'therapy thru comment', putting myself out here because I don't feel comfortable when I try to trust in people in the analog world.
The computer can be cut off and left that way. Carbon-based biped organism can walk aways and come back at their own choosing. Screw them!!
I feel that way about those who may agree with me as well because they are only people who disagree/don't like me who don't know that yet.
Occasionally, I feel more at ease with saying what is on my mind out here because I do think that as human beings, we want to be connected to something larger to ourselves. Our ego demands it of us. From message boarding and now to journaling, I feel at ease because I get to be heard and have my spirit acknowledged and touch other people without having a direct impact in my life.
See, I know that I don't mean anyone any harm, so I get to be and do as the person I would like to be. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to 'give back', because in my real life out here, they rarely do and often not without a catch to it.
Still, you want someone to know that you are alive and that you are special because you are alive. Can't feel that way through too many jobs and people you don't know are just that, people that you don't know.
And they don't know you, either.
Who, just who (besides me) is wreckless enough to put themselves out there in hopes that they pull someone else along in what is hopefully the right direction? I have no idea why, but I do...
... well, anywho, I do have a blog of my own. It is just your words hit me 'that way'. I wanted to express how I felt and if any of this makes sense to you, then we both get the satisfaction of knowing there is for sure another person as tormented and strange as we are.
And if not, then well, pay this comment no never mind!!
Big Mark,
Thanks for your thoughts. Well expressed, my friend.
I am happy to have met you.
SB
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