Thursday, April 30, 2009

Introducing: Midge, My God Dog

This here is the aptly named, Midge, my God dog. Midge is, well, kind of short of stature and all. That shit is genetic, and there wasn't dick Midge could do about it. I'll bet that maybe some of you readers are height-challenged, too, and that's okay. They make those grabber thingys now to help you midgety motherfuckers reach stuff up high.

Since Midge doesn't have opposable thumbs (which is WAY OVERRATED anyhow), the grabber devices aren't going to be a whole lot of help to her--so she's got to put the cute to work. When you're as cute as Midge, people fall all over themselves to help out and get stuff for you.

Midge is SO CUTE that if they held her up in the midst of battle over there in Iraq, there would be a TOTAL cease fire. The fucking war would be OVER in the blink of an eye.

Notice, dear reader, that in the top photo, Midge has got a damn bone or some shit. For a small sucker, she eats A LOT. You wouldn't believe it.

SB is very proud of Midge, so don't be saying any negative shit in the comments, like pointing out how she is a little pop-eyed and all. I do take umbrage to that shit. Comments about Midge's OVERWHELMING CUTENESS are welcome, however.



Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

The genius/writer/poet/painter/all-around Renaissance Man, Shane:

Oh la la... what can I Say??? Yopu know the greatest compliment there... you never put 'junkie'. x

Excuse my lack of replies or no post yet... I've had no internet at home for the past two days & it won't be back on until saturday at the earliest (posting from a cafe here). As I'm back up and running I'll let you know. Until then I'll post a link to your site.

Hope you're well SB... all calm here!! lol TC, Shane. x

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Glad to hear from you, Shane! Nick and I were starting to worry about you, buddy.

Of course I didn't put junky in the description because you're not. You explained the difference between a junky and an addict to us, remember? I listened.

I have an addiction to red wine--we're all addicts in one way or another, right? It's just choices we make. It certainly doesn't define us as people.

You ARE my Renaissance friend. You are a multi-talented artist and that's what I think of first.

Thanks for checking in. Stay safe.

Much love,


Aunt Becky said...

That dog is flipping adorable. And I added YOU as a link. Anyone with a name like Sarcastic Bastard is awesome in my book.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks for the link, Aunt Becky. You are awesome! I really do appreciate it.

Babz said...

I got your back SB if any funny business goes on concerning your God Dog. My Granddog, Brady Lee is short in stature too, fat lil farker but we don't hold it against him and in fact, I'm guilty of saving and freezing all leftovers and scrapes and break in out when he comes to visit me with his Dad, my son Lee. I'm going to go post a pic of him just for you, not to out do you like some Grandparents and Godparents but to show my solidarity.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'll check it out, Babz. Can't wait. Thanks.



~Babz~ said...

Solidarity, I got your back and their ankles, hahaha!

Brady Lee

Anonymous said...

That is one cute pug! I love the name Midge too.

I found your blog by stalking Aunt Becky's commenters this afternoon, looking for something worth reading. My lucky day! :)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Welcome birdpress! Aunt Becky is a new friend. She is awesome. I'm glad you were stalking. LOL. My lucky day, too.

Thanks for reading and for commenting. Come back soon and join us here at Sarcastic Bastard. The more in our demented world, the merrier.



Mark said...

Any dog that can smoke a cheroot is all right by me.

Lou said...

I love me some pugs!

Lou said...

I love me some pugs!

My daughter has two (count 'em) two Boston Terriers. They are dumb dogs, but sooo sweet.