Thursday, April 30, 2009

Practical Swine Flu Advice from SB

I am already tired of the damn American media getting everybody all worked up over the swine flu. One blogger friend, who shall be nameless, is a little tightly wrapped and is already all worked up and hiding under the bed covers, thanks to those fear-mongering morons on the boob tube.

SB NEEDS ALL THE DAMN READERS SHE CAN GET, so in an effort to keep all your precious asses safe, I'm going to post valid advice on how to avoid the swine flu, instead of the fear-mongering crap that's coming from such overflowing cess pools as Fox News. Fuck you, Bill O'Reilly. Sean Penn hates you and so do I.

Tips for Avoiding the Swine Flu

1) Wash your hands A LOT.

2) Don't waste your money on surgical masks. You just look stupid (like Heidi and Spencer) and they don't do a goddamn thing.

10 comments:

fatal flaw said...

Hey it's the same here.
The government are sending us all a little leaflet next week.
But I am gonna get a mask SB and cut on hole in it, so I can stick my tongue through it and write WANNA DOSE, KISS ME NOW round it.
Can't wait LOL

Ask Aunt B said...

SB, I brought my comment to you, in the event that you don't get back around for a bit;

Well, it's certainly a delight to have you stop by and your kind words made me smile, something I was actually in dire need of. Now, you've made my day!

In turn, I hope your day is better than you made mine!

Ask Aunt B said...

PS, didn't they (Heidi and Spencer)look simply wonderful frolicking in their bathing suits with surgical masks on? I mean does it get any more, well, I wouldn't be politically correct if I said what I was gonna. haha

Vincent Santa Cruz said...

The best advice I've heard so far is 'throw your used tissues away'. That's a relief, because I usually carry them around with me in a sack, and the fucker is the size of a lorry now.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Welcome to our demented little world here at Sarcastic Bastard, Aunt B. Thanks for reading and commenting. Any friend of Lou's is a friend of mine.

I'll be reading your blog regularly.

Much love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Also, no need to be politically correct here, Aunt B. No need AT ALL. We say whatever the hell we want at this site.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I will add that one to my list, Vincent. Thanks. There's some practical fucking advice for you.

My best to you. Thanks for reading.

SB

Mimi said...

SB, check out my advice on my blog at http://www.mommybrained.com. It might make you chuckle.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks for the link, Mimi! I will check it out very soon.

Peace,

SB

nan said...

Hey SB - I just blogged about this same damn thing!! People are freaks, my family included. My sister is stocking up on everything like she's about to go into quarantine. Idiots everywhere. I find this whole pandemic thing quite amusing, personally. Excellent advice. Thanks!!