My morning started off GROSS. I came down the steps, half-a-damn-sleep, and six of the cats were gathered round and attacking something over the grate in front of the fireplace. At first, in my sleep-foggy horrified mind, I thought that shit was a REALLY skinny snake of some sort (I was already planning a move), and then, I realized it was originally probably about a 6-inch nightcrawler, who had been traumatized and stretched to about 10-fucking-inches by the six overly-interested cats. What sort of worm Karma would a motherfucker have, to wind up in my house with 7 fucking cats and a diarrhetic dog? I gathered about 8 yards of paper towels up and scooped that long skinny sorry motherfucker up and deposited his traumatized entrails-hanging ass outdoors. Fucker’s a goner, I’m pretty sure. A bitch had bad dreams most of the night, and I hadn’t even had a sip of damn coffee, when I to handle all this! Christ, I hope this is NOT an indicator of the day ahead of me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
And here's what Ms. Moon wrote back to her beloved Ms. Bastard:
Good morning!
I'm fine, just crazy and Pearl is breathing. Beyond that, can't say much. Except praise holy Possibilian that I didn't have to deal with a preternaturally long worm degutted by animals this morning.
That was a really hard sentence to type.
I had the dreams too. Opera House dreams. I can't remember much and that's a damn blessing.
Check out the Possibilian thing. I think it's hysterical. I wrote about it yesterday.
I love you!
You're amazing!
You make my world ten inches longer than it would be without you!
Mary
And you know what I replied to your reply, and I meant it too!
Love you SO DAMN MUCH.
Hey, at least you weren't the worm! Worms get a bad wrap, you know? They help us so much and they get almost nothing for it. Right?
Right?
ATT,
Yeah, it sucked for the worm. No doubt.
A shitty way to die...and a shitty way to wake up.
I was thinking that if f I don't change my ways, my fate could be the same as that poor worm's.
Reminds me of the time A returned home from a night of heavy drinking to find her walls splattered with blood. The cat had caught and wounded a bat and then the poor thing had flew around spraying blood everywhere. Looked like a fucking murder scene.
You needed to put it on a hook and go fishing.
Poor thing.
Your kitties were lucky. We have 6 inch Giant Redheaded Centipedes here that might inflict damage on 6 cats. http://hillcountrymysteries.blogspot.com/2009/06/wild-west.html
Kathleen,
Jesus. I couldn't deal with the snakes in TX either. I am a total puss. If it has no legs, or too many damn legs, like the centipedes, I can't deal.
It takes balls to live in Texas or Florida.
Oh nooo! Not first thing in the morning. BEFORE you even had your coffee. I feel for you. Love you my friend xx
Post a Comment