Friday, April 8, 2011

While Shopping for a Damn Diet

. . . .The book also instructs dieters to eliminate alcoholic beverages during the initial stages.

NEXT!

19 comments:

Steph(anie) said...

Fuck that shit. And what are you doing shopping for a diet this close to your birthday? Enjoy some cake first.

Happy Birthday!!! :)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Steph,
I may join the fat acceptance movement instead. Laugh.

downtown guy said...

Life is rough, times are hard. I didn't buy no birthday card.

Misfits Vintage said...

Fuck diets. Eat less, move more. You're welcome. xxx

SittinOnAPorch said...

Just stopping by from Bless our hearts to wish the beloved Ms Sarcastic Bastard a big Happy Birthday!!! I think Ms Moon is correct, it is time for you to come and visit. This is the perfect summer for a road trip to Casa Luna, and all of your friends through Ms Moon will be waiting with bells on our toes to meet you in person, and let me tell you it is painful and difficult to walk around with bells on your toes, I am an the empitomy of the dreaded pollyanna, and so you know that I would put on the bells and not complain, but instead, maybe you could just come visit.

with my much love!!!

Lo said...

What can those diet gurus know about eating when they often tell you that you may be mistaking thirst for hunger? WTF? I have never gotten those 2 things confused in all of my 83 years.....

Jeannie said...

I was on a diet that excluded alcohol. I would just save up my carb allowance for the day and enjoy.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I agree with Steph, enjoy your damn cake first.

Happy, happy birthday baby! (I'm singing to you.) Have a wonderful weekend. A and I send hugs.
-Mel

Omgrrrl said...

Eliminate? Oh HELL to the NO.

You can always try my diet: Spaghetti-O's and Pinot Noir.

You probably won't lose weight but you will enjoy yourself.

Omgrrrl said...

PS... Happy birthday,cocksucker.

Alison Cross said...

It's ridiculous - everything that one ENJOYS eating is ruinous to health and anything interesting in the drinks department is toxic to your liver.

Forget it and invest in Good Underwear.

When's this birthday coming along? Have an excellent one!

AX

mrs. miss alaineus said...

sb- i'm the charter member of the non-diet movement! many happy returns for you!


xxalainaxx

michelle said...

yeah. what steph said. fuck that shit

i could never cut carbs or fat without the help of a frozen margarita

xoxoxo

michelle said...

and HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY!!!

SB i am so glad you exist on this planet and i feel blessed that our paths have crossed

love you mucho

xoxoxo

Syd said...

Happy birthday dear SB. I hope you rock Buttfuck, Ohio on Sunday.

Maggie May said...

lalal Happy Motherfucking Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mark said...

You need to figure one out and then write "The Alchoholic Diet Book." You'll make a fortune. (Just claim that cigarettes are a food group.)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
A love like ours requires no fucking schmaltzy greeting cards. EVER.

Kathleen,
I am honored by your visit. I cannot wait to hug you. You are dear to my heart.

Lo,
I am so pleased that you stopped by. I visited your wonderful blog recently, but did not comment. I guess that makes me a lurker. I don't get the hunger and thirst confusion thing either.

Misfits,
Love you.

Jeannie,
Sounds SMART to me. We are so alike.

Mel,
Thanks to you and to A. I love you two.

Omgrrrl,
Thanks, my dear. I love you.

Ali,
Birthday was Sunday. Beaucoup liquor was what went down. Literally. Good underwear is good advice. Laugh.

Mrs. Miss A.,
SB adores you! THANK YOU.

Michelle,
You are special to me, and I love you so! Thank you!!

Syd,
I came, I saw, I rocked, buddy. Thank you.

Maggie,
Thanks a shitload. Much love.

Mark,
I like the way you think.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Vodka has no carbs. Just don't put fruit or fizzy mixers with it. Love you xx