These days, when a Witless comes to visit the Moms, she tells them: "You may as well take your bulletin with you, I'll only use it to line the cat's box. I won't read it."
Most of the time, the honesty of this just stuns the holy fuckers. They simply look somewhat startled and reply thank you and walk away fairly rapidly.
Personally, I have trained Ginger, the Diarrhetic dog, to throw such a fit when a stranger comes to the door that the Witlesses can't even get a first word out. I just shrug and tell them that, due to the rabid mouth-foaming nature of my dog, I clearly can't have any sort of meaningful exchange. After they depart, I smile and give Ginger extra cookies and tell her that she's a good girl.
21 comments:
lol!!!!!!! I like your mom's approach. I'll try it. Never mind that I don't have a cat
Strangers don't come to the door around here... we've had maybe 3 in the last 6 or 7 years. A definite benefit to living in the sticks.
hahaha! that's so funny, SB...hmm i'll have to think of my own way to scare the witlesses...at the mo though its the national census people that're lurking round every corner...they're looking you to fill in a census that asks all sorts of probing questions, like: how many room(s) are in your house, and, what is your sexual orientation, and (seriously), how many visitors are you expecting on such-and-such a date...and this all to 'improve public services' pull the other testicle you nazi scum - its so you got all the info you need on us so we're more easily categorised when assigning us to your various concentration camps you've already got built and that're there to round everyone up in when you take over the world!!!
Good girl Ginger! xxx
lmao...I have a friend who used to answer the door naked when they'd come. He only had about 3 visits, and they put out the word to stay away from him!!!
Good dog, ginger!!
Danny,
We had the census fucktwats last year over here. Lucky you! Laugh.
Akannie,
What a great idea! I love it.
funny... growling gingers and naked people.. I love it!
Jane,
Yeah, quite a combo, eh? Laugh.
Love you!
My dogs do the same thing. The Witnesses try to shove that pamphlet through the door but I tell them I'm not religious and they go away.
They're pretty polite, though.
the last time i had an encounter, it was with a one-armed witness and i told her i didn't need to be saved because i was already one of god's chosen people.......this was down in gary, IN.
xxalainaxx
We all need a Ginger. ~Mary
That's funny.
My doorbell broke a year and I deliberately didn't replace it. I only answer it if someone calls my phone. It's been great and saved me dealing with Jehovah's Witnesses and ex offenders selling cheap tea towels xx
I answer the door like this
"WHO THE FUCK IS IT??"
and they usually say
"Oh please have a great day. I didnt mean to bother you"
and I go back to sipping my grapefruit juice.
This is the part where I'd say, "I haven't had a Jehovas Witness at my door in years!" but then karma will bite me in the ass, and guess what I'll wake up to....
I knew a guy who would always answer the door completely naked when he knew it was Jehovah's Witnesses. Another friend of mine will open the windows and play a tape of Malcolm X REALLY LOUD when she sees them in the neighborhood. They have never stopped at her house.
Totally brilliant!! Nice dog training. I'm going to use the lining the litter tray line sometime! Inspired x
Mrs. Miss A.,
That made me laugh. Great answer.
Mary,
Amen to that, sister!
Christina,
I don't have a doorbell. Thank Christ. I just look out my window and see who's knocking. Laugh.
Dovie,
I SO LOVE YOU. I'm going to try that next time. Laugh.
Sandra,
I hear you, sister. Thanks for dropping by. Please come back often.
BMelons,
Great idea on the Malcolm X. Genius! Laugh. Love you.
Butterfly,
Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. Come back and join us any time.
Love to all,
SB
No witnesses come out here. I am too far out in the country. Before when we lived in suburbia, I would tell them that I wasn't interested. Thank them and shut the door.
I grew up in the sticks and that didn't stop the Witnesses from coming around; gotta save the inbred hillbillies you know.
Reminds me of a visit at my great aunt's when the Witnesses showed up, the discussion turns sour and my great uncle pulled out a shotgun and ran them off the hill.
Told you my ass comes from hillbilly roots. :))
Syd,
That would work, love. Laugh.
Mel,
Knowing you have hillbilly roots just makes me like you more, if that's possible.
I always hide.
Shhh.......
I think it's those damn holy rollers again..........
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