Geico Employs Some Crazy Motherfuckers

I work at Geico (Stafford location) and have a LOT of accrued sick time. Unfortunately, they will not let me use it without a valid doctor approved sickness, so it just keeps piling up with me not having any access to it. With the holiday season right around the corner, and me having way more sick leave than vacation time, I would like to use the sick time for a change and allow my vacation time to accrue. So, that being said- does anyone have the swine flu, aka H1N1 that is living or commutes through the Stafford/Fredericksburg area. If so, I would like you to infect me. I can come to your house or meet you somewhere, and if successfully infected- I will give you twenty bucks. This will also give me the opportunity to infect my team leader by licking her phone, mouse and keyboard- so it will be a double win for me!!