Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Date with a Chinchilla-Loving Nut Job

Any takers? If SB starts seeking dates for herself and one of the fucking cats, please shoot me.

Me and my chinchilla Ruth would like to go on a double date with a man and his pet chinchilla as well. Are you this man? Ruth is bisexual so the sex of your chinchilla is irrelevant; however, if your female chinchilla is not open to the idea of a same sex relationship it is best you discover this before our double date, as we are BOTH looking for compatible mates.

If you do not own a chinchilla but do own a sex-positive nutria, Ruth will take this under consideration.
Please attach photo of your chinchilla*, i do not need a picture of you: Ruth is very into looks however I value intellect and/or personality more highly.


xoxo Lisa & Ruth

*I am serious. This is not some x-rated code. I would like to make that clear and avoid the unpleasant images i received last time. It was very upsetting to Ruth.
[SB is still laughing over this footnote. I will probably laugh all damn day.]

13 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

I'm sure she thinks she is being cute. Which is hard to grasp. But. Still.
Oh. Poor woman.

gingermagnolia said...

Oh. My. Lawd. Do you know what a nutria is???? It's a giant fucking RAT! Like those rodents of unusual size from The Princess Bride. G-ross.

Yes, and that lady is definitely off her rocker. "Ruth is very into looks..." Bitch, please!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
You are too kind. Ho is crazy.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ginger,
Bitch, please made me laugh.

afk4life said...

SB
Never accept a date where your cats are part of the conditions for getting it in the first place. You know he's just looking for one thing :/ (Timer to get that starts...now)
Doug

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Doug,
I am filthy-minded (I grew up in a small town remember?). Got it INSTANTLY.

Love, SB.

afk4life said...

SB
Seek help xD
Doug

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Doug,
I already sought help. It didn't help.

Kathleen Scott said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? I'll be laughing all day at the footnote. Poor Ruth.

The Dish said...

You do have a nose for the crazy shit. And I promise to shoot you if you set up an add for you and the moogies. What are friends for?

michelle said...

Ms. Moon is too quick to see the good in people.

I'm with you. Lisa is serious and she's nuts

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I think I went on a date with her once and let me tell you her chinchilla was nothing special. :)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Michelle,
Yes, definitely.