Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ms. Moon Is Going to Get Mad at My Ass

Ms. Moon, one of my BEST FUCKING FRIENDS in the ENTIRE WORLD, thinks all pregnant women are beautiful, and I sort of get that shit, but then I saw THIS. I just don't get the majesty. If you can help a bitch out and enlighten me, just drop it in the comments. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but it's a stretch (much like this ho's belly). And I know her belly is sacred and shit Ms. Moon, I'm just not sure I needed to see ALL of it.

Also, is this ho planning on plopping the fetus out on the jungle floor? Is this some sort of exotic birthing shit?

19 comments:

Syd said...

It doesn't look too appetizing to me.

Steph(anie) said...

I can't even see her belly for the harshness of her look. Smile, god damn it.

Mel said...

Ha! that's a good one, thanks for the laugh. I needed to get overmyself. For the record, I felt like aliens took over my body when I was pregnant. I did not glow or radiate, I just freaked the fuck out. And took pictures of my swollen, bloated feet. I became unrecognizable. Even worse, it was months after the baby before I began to look like a human female again. I could go on.... but
you always make me laugh, or think, or smile... thanks!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, Mel. Such a nice compliment. I appreciate you reading me.

Love, SB.

Kathleen Scott said...

My first job was in a drugstore, selling candy and what-nots in a sliding-downhill neighborhood. We had an uncensored slice-of-life clientele. One of my regulars was a 12 year old pregnant girl. Not all pregnancies are beautiful.

I think the beauty is in the beholder. My niece was delicately beautiful in spite of fatigue. Her husband looked good too, as he lovingly helped her dress each morning toward the end when she couldn't see her feet to put on socks and shoes.

Ms. Moon said...

Yep. This one scares me. Not the belly. The woman it's on.

The Dish said...

I agree that pregnancy is beautiful, but I also agree with Stephanie. Bitch needs to smile, then maybe she would be easier to look at.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Thank God you are not mad at me.

Ms. Moon said...

I am not sure I'm capable of being mad at you, dear Ms. Bastard.

Chic Mama said...

Hmmm, I can understand someone taking a picture of their pregnant belly for their own records...but to allow it to be published on the internet - plain weird!;0) XX

Lori said...

I do not see anything resembling a glow coming from this woman's face. For fuck's sake, this woman is plain scary.

adrienne said...

oh, lord! how i adore you, sb. even though you may not know i exist...sigh.

Bethany said...

oh God, this made me laugh laugh laugh.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Adrienne,
I DO know you exist and I adore you back. Are you Michelle's sister? I thought I had heard that.

I adore Michelle, too. She rocks.

Love, SB.

Jeannie said...

Back 100 years ago when I was young and pregnant, my new neighbor was too. She had her baby and came to see me a few days later. I didn't recognize her. She had swollen up so badly I had no clue who she was when she lost all the water.

I don't understand why anyone reading you would expect you to suddenly be respectful, polite and clean mouthed. I read you because you aren't.

gingermagnolia said...

I think it has more to do with the terrible make up and trying to reconcile the mannish face with the pregnant belly than the belly itself.

May said...

Yeah, what the hell is going on here? It's like some suburban, highlight sporting, SUV driving, eyebrow pluckin' desperate housewife got preggers and ran off and joined the hippies. Those hormones make you crazy! Her skirt isn't even real patchwork! That shit looks like it came from Ross! Maybe she's a cult member and she's having a little cult baby. I would NOT drink her kool-ade! This looks suspiciously like Florida, but I will not claim her. California can have her.

michelle said...

I didn't know Ozzie Osbourne was knocked up. Need to climb out from under my rock

birdpress said...

I think her body is fine, even kind of cool looking because I think pregnancy is fascinating, but yeah, her face is very strange and kinda scary! If she'd smile this picture would be completely different.