Wednesday, January 20, 2010

SB Is Not Feeling Too Inspired, Motherfuckers

Apologies for the lack of posting this week, motherfuckers, but SB is sort of down and not feeling too inspired. Bear with me. This shit will swing back up. It always does.

I'm having to keep Bella quarantined until her spaying on Friday, and Raj (the Siamese Schlub) always wants in the room with her. He is a fucking fair-weather friend though. At first, I thought Raji missed Bella, but really he was only trying to get in the room to eat her breakfast. When I moved the bowl up high, motherfucker was ready to leave the room, but his fat ass kept coming back over and over, as if breakfast might magically reappear again. It could happen, people. That's not so dumb. If it was there once, it could be there again. I had to keep telling the little motherfucker that there was NO breakfast buffet available. The indignant little fuck sauntered right back out ALMOST AS IF HE UNDERSTOOD THAT SHIT. It was kind of eerie, to be frank. I guess if any cat would know what a breakfast buffet was, it would be Raj. Motherfucker loves to eat. He is THE CHUNK.


Ms. Moon said...

Wouldn't it be fun to take him to a real breakfast buffet? You could order his omelet for him. The smoked salmon omelet with extra cheese. He would be so happy.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

That made me laugh, Ms. Moon.

afk4life said...

Perhaps it's time for tough love. Take him by a Chinese restaurant and tell him 'keep up your attitude and I'm dropping you off here!'

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Good idea, but I think he'd prefer the seafood buffet!

afk4life said...

Chinese restaurant, I think he'd be worried about being on the menu :/

Kathleen Scott said...

Poor Raj. He knows he'll die of starvation, he HAS to haunt the breakfast buffet, to eat every time he can in case he never gets to eat again. And you're skunking him.

You know you're going to have to take him to the kitty-psychiatrist to get over the rejection.

The Dish said...

I swear Fat Bastard Cat knows just what I am saying to his ass. It is creepy. The Husband says it is creepy that I talk to him in the first place. Meh. What the hell does he know?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

You've got cat psychology down for sure. Laugh.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm with you. People are jealous of us Dr. Doolittle types.

It's a damn gift.

Syd said...

I have Evil Seed cat who is a Siamese. She was dumped off in an Atlanta parking lot. I now understand why....she is a royal pain but I love her.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Around this house the cats and dogs understand way too much. A and I have resorted to spelling certain words. I wonder how long it will take the little jackasses to learn to spell too.