Monday, January 18, 2010

My Ass Is Grumpy this Morning

Well, it's Monday, and I feel anything but refreshed and raring to go. I spent most of the damn weekend pulling Raj the Schlub and the other male cats off of Bella Puppini. I had Bella scheduled to be fixed in two weeks, but that little ho went into heat over the weekend.

Actually, Raj was hysterically funny, bless his heart. He wanted to do the deed. He gave it the old college try, but wasn't big enough to bite the back of Bella's neck and still get it in. He was hunching her like a mad man though. He had the right idea. Fucker just couldn't implement that shit. For once, I wished I had a digital camera. His new nickname is "Trojan Man."

Anyhoo, I had to come in to work early this morning, because I have an exam for Lasik surgery tonight and need to leave work early to make it on time. This shit had better work out. My ass is literally blind as a bat, and my worsening vision is just making me feel old and depressed. I am quite literally legally blind without corrective lenses. I got all the good genes in the family. Thanks Mom and Daddums!

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, as I mentioned, and a little known fact is that it is also General Lee's birthday (talk about irony). I loved General Lee very much, so I always drink to Martin Luther King and General Lee and toast them on this day. It's little known that General Lee worked diligently to help reunite the North and the South as a college president after the War years. He was an honourable man, and I admire him tremendously.

8 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

You're getting Lasik? Man. I want that. I am so tired of being blind.
Let me know how it goes.
I missed you this weekend! Glad your time off was filled with sex, sex, hot, hot SEX! Sorry it was only cat sex. Between cats.
Love you, Ms. Bastard.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Hahahaha, Ms. Moon is the best! Plus the female cats are so noisey when they want it.

Lasik-I've thought about it but the thought of shooting a laser in my eye causes much anxiety. I'll jump out of a plane or off a cliff, but hell if I'll lay on a table while I'm lasered for 10 seconds. Doesn't quite make sense, does it? Have a good one SB. :)

Lori said...

So you watched animal porn live? I am impressed. Who knew? LOL...I already commented about the Lasik. I am scrolling backwards this morning reading the blogs. I wonder if I am living my life like that as well...shoot for the moon...I shall clink my glass to yours to this holiday, or any other day for whatever reason, or no reason.. I just like the clinking of the glasses...Peace...

The Dish said...

He, he. Trojan Man. Thanks for the mental image. Cheered me up some.

Good luck with the Lasik. That is awesome!

white rabbit said...

'My ass is literally blind as a bat'

I'm not sure you're trying to see out of the right part of your anatomy. Seriously, I'd be interested how it goes. It's myopia central in the rabbit hutch too.

Maybe take glasses/contacts off/out and catsex will just appear a blur with a strange soundtrack...

gingermagnolia said...

Oooh, lasik! Hope it goes well.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
It is my aim to cheer your glum ass up. I loves ya!

Syd said...

Gen. Lee was president of Washington and Lee, a great college in VA.
Funny about the cats.