Friday, January 8, 2010

Shit SB Says in Comments

I eat pet treats all the time. The way I see it, my family were part of the southern aristocracy. I'm supposed to do batshit stuff like eat dog cookies. And also, I figure I'd better get used to dog food. After two terms of the Bush administration, that's going to be all my generation can afford in the pension years, and we'll be lucky to get that. We may have to supplement the dog food with grass and bugs.

19 comments:

Glimmer said...

HA HA HA! You are so right about that. And dirt too. Some southerners eat clay, or used to. Healthists like to call it "pica" and say it is some sort of vitamin lack. But these people just like to eat clay, usually after it rains. In the Deep South. They say it tastes good.

I wrote a story about it once. Contrary to popular opinion about a certain profession in very rapid decline if not dead already, I did not make this up.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Glimmer,
I totally believe you. And I'd eat Savannah dirt. I'd wash it down with a nice claret.

Love you!

Steph(anie) said...

Bugs are good for you. Fry 'em up in oil and they'll be just fine. If you can afford oil.

May said...

When DTG and I were kids we would play cat and dog at our friend's grandmother's kennel. This of course involved getting in cat cages and eating pet treats. Cat food is saltier than dog food, but dog biscuits were the best. Like little thick gray crackers. A little dry, but that's what the bowl of water is for. I hope if, in the future, we have to subsist on this and supplement with grass and bugs, that the grass is of the rye variety cause that shit is tender and heavenly to lay on.
I love you SB!

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I buy these great cheese cookies/treats for my dogs. They are made from human grade ingredients and taste pretty good. One year at Christmas my mom ate 3 of them dipped in coffee. I walked into the kitchen and she asked me where I got these great little cookies. I guess it didn't occur to her even though they were in the dog treat cookie jar.

Hope you're feeling better lady. This illness is a bunch of shit! Have a great weeeknd. :)

the walking man said...

get used to dog food or dog as food?

Findon said...

I used to eat dog biscuits as a kid, which is weird, because we didn't have a dog. With you on the facebook thing, I have two people whome I loath asking to be my friend. Gross. By the way I wasn't planning on going anywhere, except a little deeper inside. Much love to you.

Chic Mama said...

What a great idea! Must admit I've never tried it before but as we are completely snowed in and supplies are getting depleted maybe we can start on the dog food if we're really desperate. ;0)

Ms. Moon said...

I have seen packaged clay for sale in Alabama at a convenience store. No shit. For eating.
And Ms. Bastard-Honey- you can always come live with me. We'll have eggs and collards and maybe deer meat to eat so no need to eat bugs. But you can still eat dog treats if you want.

Syd said...

I think that you mentioned Catastrophe in which the currency will be seeds. I'll grow tomatoes, corn, lettuce, peppers, watermelon and other good stuff here and shoot some squirrels to eat like I did as a kid. A southern boy can survive.

Lori said...

I remember the Georgia dirt, it was almost reddish, clay like. Thankfully my dog is grateful for the $10 bag of kibble that lasts him all month. Plus, a few bags of treats, and human goodies. Getting old scares me. The financial part. Oh well, my dog loves me. He will share...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

May,
Yeah, I ate Gainsburger once. The kind with the cheese in it looked good.

I love you so!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Melly Mel,
That is a fucking funny story. Loved it.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Walking Man,
Dog food. No dog as food. Laugh.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Findon,
That is weird and you are loved.

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
I can be the offical bug hunter. I don't want to wear at my welcome and shit. A bitch has got to contribute.

Love you MAS,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
You betcha. A Southern boy can survive. We had to do it once. We can do it again.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lori,
The dog WILL share.

Love, SB.

blackwatertown said...

There's a clearly labeled jar of dog treats in my local pub, but some regulars just can't resist helping themselves.