Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Excerpt from an E-mail to a Loved One

I'm getting double mileage out of this, motherfuckers. I told you my ass was lazy. This excerpt is from an e-mail that I sent to a loved one this morning.

Anything new? There's dick new on this end. I wish it was new dick on this end, but alas, no.

The folks and I are going to Hooters for wing night tonight. I love Hooters! That sounds a bit funny, doesn't it? Do you all have Hooters over there? It seems like more of an American deal to me. The waitresses wear short shorts (with pantyhose) up their asses, and they serve cold beer, cheeseburgers, and chicken wings (which you have to pronounce "wangs"). So basically, I'm going to order up some wangs at Hooters tonight.
[Sounds sexy, eh?]

My life is dull. [This is one big fucking understatement.]


Ms. Moon said...

Hey- at least you're going OUT!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Yeah, there is that.