Thursday, October 22, 2009

Shit SB Says

Don't fuck with me, motherfucker. Daddums gave me an aluminum baseball bat when I moved into the new place. It's in my closet, and I WILL USE THAT SHIT WITHOUT COMPUNCTION. I will beat a bitch!

11 comments:

May said...

"Beat a biter down with an aluminum bat!" Beastie Boys. Oh yeah.

downtown guy said...

I have a thumping people corner n my living room, full of things to thump people. Wooden bat, metal bat, walking stick, pool cue, half a fishing rod, etc. So far, I haven't had to actually use any of it, but I have carried one of the bats when I went to confront a bad neighbor a few times.

The Dish said...

Can you some beat Mr. Burns with your aluminum bat? Please? I will cook you dinner and keep your wine glass full.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

May,
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEASTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
What a splendid idea. Everyone should have one.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
There is no one I would rather beat. Wait, no, that was a lie. George W. Bush would come first in line.

Love,

SB

Steph(anie) said...

Shit yeah.

Ms. Moon said...

Just don't beat me. Unless it's in a race. That would be okay.
Love...Ms. MOon

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I would never EVER beat you, Ms. Moon. You are SB's idol.

Petit fleur said...

I have a metal fire poker... does that count?

Um... I may be an idjut, but I missed the part about exactly who the bitch is you will be beating. ;-)
hypothetical bitch? actual bitch? Mr. Burns? I'm so confused.
PS If you are still crabby, go to my blog and check out the ukulele chick. she will make you smile!
xo

miss alaineus said...

yeah but does your bat have a NAME????


i got the piecemaker, a wooden ted williams model, from a customer at my old gas station job.

i also have an aluminum bad in my car, a pink pocket knife with a barely legal length blade, mace, and an occasional hot coffee that i could throw at someone if the hookers down the hall get rowdy. or if i find them wearing my shoes.

i used to have a nice 12 inch lead pipe but i gifted it to one of my dude friends who delivers pizzas in the 'hood.

always good to be prepared!!!!

xxalainaxx