Friday, October 9, 2009

Found!! Gray Cat!

[I found this add on Craigslist today, and it made me laugh. Clearly, this person is a little excitable. And yes, Ohioans are ignorant motherfuckers who say shit like "I SEEN IT." My bet is, this poor motherfucker is never going to get the damn cat out off the garage. Frightened pussy = blood-soaked-scratched-all-up-to-hell good Samaritan.

Interestingly, The Narrows used to be a pet cemetery. It is now inactive. Maybe this poor sonofabitch has some sort of evil Stephen King-like cat in his garage. Maybe it smells like smoke because it's Satan's cat, and it's been hanging out in hell. No good deed goes unpunished.]

FOUND AT THE NARROWS RESERVE!! GREY CAT, I THINK IT BELONGS TO SOMEONE WHO SMOKES CIGARETTES BECAUSE THE CAT SMELLS LIKE THEM. NOT SURE IF IT'S MALE OR FEMALE YET, IT IS SCARED AND I HAVE IT IN MY GARAGE TO DO WHAT IT PLEASES FOR A WHILE. I DON'T WANT TO STARTLE IT ANYMORE THAN IT ALREADY IS. IT WAS CRYING LOUDLY WHEN I SEEN IT AND IT ACTED LIKE IT COULDNT WALK, SO I BROUGHT IT HOME. IT APPEARS TO HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT'S EYE, I DONT KNOW IF IT ALREADY HAD IT OR IF THE CAT WAS ATTACKED OR HIT BY A CAR. IT'S FUR IS PRETTY MANGLED UP. I AM GOING TO TAKE IT TO THE GREENE COUNTY ANIMAL SHELTER ON DAYTON XENIA ROAD IN XENIA.

21 comments:

afk4life said...

SB
Love the eyes like anyone is gonna want that cat back after the picture yikes.
Doug

Petit fleur said...

HA!! I was thinking this looked like a devil cat!

What part of Ohio are you in?? My mom and sis live in Mayfield Heights. Harley and I are hoping to have another visit after the holidays because mom is pretty sick. Harley asks me every day if we can go... he is saving his pennies for it.

We will definitely come and see you and the famewhore squirrel!
xopf

J. said...

I love that the whole ad is SCREAMED as if more people will read it because it'll carry farther that way... Ha!

Changedit said...

Xenia was the name I used as a dominatrix. Isn't that funny?

Love ya SB xxx

Gledwood said...

O WOW THAT IS FROM SOME OTHRWORLD ...!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND


HAVE YOU HEARD OF DEGUS? CLUE: THEY'RE FURRY ...

gingermagnolia said...

I seen people talk like that in Indiana, too.

From the O-Zone said...

"It appears to have something wrong with its eye." I suppose having eyes that look like two active volcanoes could be considered "wrong".

Nellie said...

I think the best part has to be when she says the cat "acted like it couldn't walk". Was the cat faking it?

Gledwood said...

How are you?

allthistrouble said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Holy Hell, Lucifer! There's our kitty right there on Craigslist! We should've known! That's where all the murderers and broken cars hang out...."

Oh, I can just hear it now.

birdpress said...

My pussy would be scared too, if some illiterate person stole her and kept her in his garage. Sounds like the kitty in question could have used a vet rather than a post on Craigslist.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Petit Fleur,
I am near Dayton, Ohio. I would love to meet you in person.

Let me know. Thanks for reading.

Love,

Sher

Sarcastic Bastard said...

J.,
I thought the same damn thing. It made me laugh.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Changedit,
I'll bet you have some stories to tell, girlfriend.

Love you back,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Gleddy,
Have not heard of Degus. Will Google. Thanks!

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Gingermagnolia,
Me too, girl. Me too.

I love you, you damn Hoosier!

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Mr. O-Zone,
Welcome. Love your blog. Ran across it when I read your comment on my friend, Syd's, blog.

Please join us anytime.

Best,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Nellie,
I caught that too, babe. Obviously the good Samaritan was kind, but none too bright.

Love you!

SB

Ms. Moon said...

I like the part where the cat in the garage is going to do as it pleases.
The mind boggles.

Syd said...

I hope that the cat gets a good home. The good Samaritan could just put a litter box in the garage and some cat food and water. The kitty would eventually come out and become friendly.

gingermagnolia said...

Awwww shit! I ain't no damn Hoosier! I'm a Texan, dammit! Just 'cause I live here don't mean nothin'. :D