Thanks so much for taking care of Rosie and Simba while I am gone! Please follow these specific instructions for their care:
On Saturday morning please open a can of food for them (I will leave the can out on the cart in the kitchen). Put half the can of food in one of the bowls (I will also leave the bowls on the cart) and the other half in the other bowl. It is very important that they are EXACTLY equal amounts it there is any variance at all Rosie get very upset and becomes inconsolable. And you know what that means.
After you have put exactly half of the can in each bowl and then put one bowl in my bedroom on the green floral place mat for Rosie and the other bowl on the green floral placemat on the floor in the kitchen next to the Platinum Drinkwell water fountain. At this time check the fountain to make sure it is working properly. You may want to take a taste yourself to make sure it is at a cool enough temperature.
After the cats eat (at this time they are allowed to fraternize together in the living room but please leave Rosie by herself in my bedroom with the door closed when you leave, otherwise the cats get into fights.) anyways, after they eat they like to be burped. This can be done by holding each cat like a baby on your shoulder and patting them gently, not too hard, until they burp twice. Each cat must burp twice. Sometimes it helps if you sing to them.
[And no, motherfuckers, SB did not write this shit. Fuck you for thinking that.
Admittedly, I do sing to my cats. They prefer show tunes and are very upset by my Marilyn Manson imitation.]
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18 comments:
Um, I refuse to burp a cat. Either one of mine would claw my eyes out if I tried.
I, too, sing to my animals. They prefer country.
The song I sing my cat, Baggy (to the tune of I'm a Little Teapot):
I'm a little Baggy,
small and black.
Just like my heart,
attack attack attack!
Nothing like anal retentive cat owners. But Pomeranian owners are probably equally as anal.
I SO love you, DTG. That made me laugh.
Dish,
I accidentally burped Mercer (the big fat cat with digestive issues) once.
I haven't crooned country yet. I know lots of George Strait songs though, because I have a HUMUNGOUS crush on him. His hat really puts me over the edge. Just kidding.
Love, SB.
Syd,
Probably.
Sometimes there are hand motions.
im like totally weird about my cat, when i left for sweden i left a 3 page letter on how to take care of mango PLUS illustrations to go with it. lol i should have saved it, scanned it and blogged it. it was funny.
I have too many cats to be that anal retentive. The only time I've patted down a cat, it wasn't to burp them. They had to be gently patted on the lungs to help shift the fluid and help them breathe due to pneumonia. Good gravy I love my cats, but it's a fine line to insanity with this woman. (Hugs)Indigo
Sweden,
You crack me up!
Indigo,
You are the sweetest person ever.
Love you,
SB
This cannot be for real.
SB, where did u get the note from i wrote to my neighbour, when i last went away????
muuuuhaaa haaa
love u xxx
I'm trying to picture burping Miss Alaineus' cat, but I think I'd throw my back out..besides, her cat is perfectly capable of puking on heer own, no intervention required..
Wow, I thought I was spoiling my dogs when I heat up bones and throw them on the kitchen floor for them to chew on. Call the MSPCA!
that is pretty fucked up. kitty hangs by herself plenty, i have an auto water dish and an auto feeder dish and that's that. i do kinda know what an inconsolable cat sounds like/ and or does.
xxalainaxx
Very funny, Changedit.
Mr. Mischief,
Are you implying that my dear Ms. Alaineus's cat is somewhat portly? Surely not.
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