Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Shit SB Says

For some reason, I find death extremely funny. I guess it's some sort of weird fear response, but I always have to fight the urge to laugh in the middle of a funeral service or when walking by the corpse in the casket. Let's fucking face it, the deceased never look good. [Except for Michael. He looked unnatural before.]

Nobody's looking at my ass when I am dead, except the Moms and Daddums. They're allowed. But fucking no one else. It's okay, though, if they prop me up in a chair at the wake after. Just don't be staring at me.

[I know the photo is in bad taste, but whatever. Fuck you, if you don't like it.]

10 comments:

white rabbit said...

What is the point of wearing sunglasses when you're dead?

It's not as if you're going to be dazzled by the lights.

Ms. Moon said...

Are you sure he's not just sleeping?
I love how at "viewings" people always say, "Doesn't she look natural? Doesn't she look peaceful?"
Uh...No. She looks DEAD.

Syd said...

I don't like open casket funerals. I've been to a few viewings but found it all too much. I guess I've worked with formaldehyde as a preservative for too many years. No one is shooting that stuff in me.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

White Rabbit,
No flies on you obviously.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Damn right, Ms. Moon. DEAD AS FUCK.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
Nor me, my brothah. I have been drinking a lot of Diet Coke over the course of my life. Maybe that will preserve my damn earthly splendor just as well. Ya think?

The Dish said...

No open casket for me. By the time I kick the bucket this body will be sufficiently beat to shit that no will want to gaze at me. In adoration or otherwise. Will booze work as formaldehyde, I wonder?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
We're going to be good friends. I can just tell. You ask all the pertinent questions.

lilacsandy said...

Can't wait! Take out what you want, if anything's worth recycling, burn the rest and do what you want with it

white rabbit said...

I wouldn't be seen dead dead.