Thursday, November 19, 2009

From Evil Bunny to Evel Knievel

This shit in the picture is sort of disappointing, especially if you are the age of myself or say, Johnny Depp. We both idolized Evel, growing up. All the kids did. In fact, Johnny once said he wanted to BE Evel when he grew up. You know why? Here's a lesson for you dumb young punks who idolize Paris Hilton and that crazy dumb ass, Lady Gaga--BECAUSE EVEL WAS COOL. He had balls the size of Canada. That fucker would jump over anything on his motorcycle, and motherfucker BROKE EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY in his lifetime. How's that for nads? [Or possibly stupidity. Nah--it was nads--I'm sticking with that.]

So you can sort of imagine my disappointment at running across the ad above. Frankly, I don't wish to remember Evel in this fashion.

SB is coveting Evel's scooter though. There's even a basket for a six-pack in the front! DAMN. The Pride Legend is clearly the Cadillac of scooters.

[Little Known Trivia: Did you know that Evel had a son named Stevel Knievel?

You can only finding exciting, but little-known, trivia like this at Sarcastic Bastard. NOWHERE ELSE.]

23 comments:

Steph(anie) said...

Ironic that the scooter has pride in the name. I'm surprized he did that ad. But I guess it just shows he's aging more gracefully than I will. I'll be all, don't take my fucking picture in this fucking scooter, damn it.

The Dish said...

That ad makes me sad. Like you, I would NEVER choose to remember him that way!

If you buy the scooter, can i sit on your lap and pass you beers?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Steph,
I'm getting a shitty attitude as I get older. I'll hock anything if you want to pay me enough. I love money.

I love you too.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
You can ride with me anytime, babe. Maybe we could buy some motorcycle leathers and look extra cool!

The Dish said...

What would our biker colors be? And we need a name.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
Colors are deep red and purple.

Name? That's your job. Picking the colors was exhausting.

justme said...

Oh, I love Johnny Depp. Ever since 21 Jump Street, baby.

The Dish said...

My 2 favorite colors. Now for a name? Badass Bastards? Crazy Drunks? Crazy Cat Ladies? ;)

Ms. Moon said...

I think the man is probably broke. Not to be confused with broken. He needs the money. Or else he just lost his mind one day.

Syd said...

I don't like scooters for old folks. I'd rather crawl than ride one.

downtown guy said...

SB, I love ya, but your trivia's wrong. He named his kids Kelly, Tracey, Alicia, and Robbie. Stevel Knievel is the stage name of an Evel impersonator.

(Oh, and Steph, he ain't aging at all. He jumped that big line of buses in the sky back in 2007.)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
It was a joke. That's my family's and my sense of humor. I made it up. I didn't even know about the impersonator. Never heard of him.

Love, SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Justme,
Who doesn't love Johnny Depp, right? I haven't met anyone yet.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
Partial to Badass Bastards myself. Good picks.

Love you lots.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
To be honest, I thought he was dead.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Syd,
Me neither, but they're great for younger drunken folks, such as myself. I would love to have one to ride home from my cousin Chris's house, when I am over there drinking on a Saturday night. I'd just zip down the darkened alley in that shit.

Love you.

justme said...

Yeah, you're right there SB. He even made dirty old drunken pirates look hot. I wanted to jump his bones fer shur. But I guess I *have* always been attracted to the bad boys.

downtown guy said...

SB: ha! No, seriously, there is a guy who called himself that who jumps shit. His real name, of course, is Steve.

Mel said...

Damn, you're right the man had balls. Bad ass Chuck Norris style. Sad to see him on a scooter, but you know what? Those things are fun to ride, you will be hooked immediately. My dad needed one toward the end there and he hated it, make him feel weak, but we all loved it and rode around in it for him and laughed and drank toasts and laughed some more. We got him in it one time, got him to belly up to the bar and he do a shot to celebrate. Thank god we didn't kill him any sooner.

I'd go for a Rascal myself, they scoot, they're versatile and I may need one myself someday. But I'm thinking one of those stand up sit down segueways would really be the ticket!

Anyway thanks for making me laugh, again, and sorry for babbling... again.

J. said...

This is sad. Maybe he lost a bet?

Petit fleur said...

Yes, it is a bit sad. I told my hub and he says.."At least he's still ridin'" I thought that was pretty funny.

Yea, it sucks to see him sort of reduced to that. But he still has killer boots! Wonder if they're blue suede?

I had a horse named Evel knievel once. He was a bad ass too. Nobody could get on him but me. And he gave me a few wild rides at the beginning! But I digress. Carry on SB, you will always be cool in my book.
xo pf

gingermagnolia said...

Do you remember Super Dave? Not half as cool, but this made me think of that.

Ms. Moon said...

You do know that Elivs Aaron Presley had a twin who died at birth named
Jesse Garon Presley? Right?
You just can't make this shit up.