Monday, November 9, 2009

I Don't Know What To Say Today

Sorry, good people, but I have nothing worth posting so far today. I am still not back to myself from THE ILLNESS OF FOREVER, and the weekend was nice, but pretty uneventful. I stayed home and cleaned some and rested. I did receive a FINE HAND-KNITTED SCARF from the lovely Ms. Moon. It is a work of art and I love it. Because she made it, I wear it everywhere but the damn shower.

On the way into work this morning, I nearly killed a bitch. I got behind TWO motherfuckers driving BELOW the fucking speed limit and chatting away on cell phones. I will admit, I passed the first old bitch in a no-passing area of the road. That shit was going to give me a heart attack. There is going to be a road rage incident soon! I am going to beat a hapless bitch to death with his/her cell phone. I HATE CELL PHONES. I would like to KILL whoever invented them.

My Uncle Gene and I are both noted for our impatience. Gene will go in to get his car worked on, and if his ass is not waited on in the first two minutes after he enters the service department, motherfucker will get in his car and drive off. SB is about that patient myself. I have driven off after placing orders in drive-thrus before. I am going to die someday. I don't have a lot of time to sit around and wait for shit.

I have also noticed that it's usually a damn retiree holding everybody up. It must be nice to have all the time in the damn world. How selfish to just assume that everybody else does though.

7 comments:

white rabbit said...

I get reduced to spittle flecked rage by muppets who block queues at - well wherever - by having an extensive dialogue with whoever is behind the desk/screen/whatever which, judging by its length, must have got round to the shoe size and inside leg measurement of the muppet's eighth cousin three times removed. The muppet is of course oblivious to the ever growing queue of seething people behind him/her. These people are a particular menace at Railway stations as trains don't tend to wait for random shoe size and inside leg measurement issues to be clarified to the n'th degree before they leave.

My solution? A seperate queue labelled 'IDIOTS'. Anyone not self-selecting for this queue has a minute. If they haven't concluded their business by then they get sent to the IDIOTS queue without the option.

Ms. Moon said...

I think some of those retirees might just be confused and addled.
I say this because I see it coming down the track at me.
I agree with you about the cell phones.
I'm glad you like your scarf. It may be ugly, but it is soft.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
THE SCARF IS NOT UGLY!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

White Rabbit,
Good solution, my brothah. I'm with you.

gingermagnolia said...

Sorry you're still under the weather. Maybe this will cheer you up a bit. http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/

Petit fleur said...

SB,

I really hate that you are not well yet... I hope you are much better and soon. I have something funny to cheer you up. I'll get your addy from ms moon.

I am a cell driver hater too.

White Rabbit, my dear, I must speak on behalf of the muppets... they've been having a hard enough year. They do not need the added pressure of having to represent the geriatric set on top of it! (Although, it is pretty dern funny!)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

PF,
It's just a sinus infection hanging on. I am mostly over it now. Just still tired. I left work early yesterday and went home and took a 3-hour nap!