Friday, November 13, 2009

You Could Be My Kid, I Have Nine of Them

It was a great, but sort of surreal, evening last night. SB's favorite kind!

Firstly, I got to converse with my idol and adopted family member, the great and wise Ms. Moon. For two damn writers, who don't much like the phone, we did pretty damn good as talkers. I think we talked for about an hour and a half or more. It was great.

I love you Ms. Moon! Such a damn thrill to finally talk to you! I can't tell you.

Ms. Moon is EVERY FUCKING BIT as great as you'd think she would be if you read her blog regularly. And if you don't read her blog regularly, you damn well should.

Secondly, I went to call the Moms and Daddums, who are out at their place in Arizona for the winter (winter weather pussies), and the Dads sounded mighty tired, and frankly, really old. At first, I thought I had awakened him or some shit, but it was only about 7:00 out there. I said something like: "Yo, pops. How are things? You sound tired."

We talked a little bit, and then I asked where the Moms was, and Daddy said: "Why, she's in bed." He said it like: you should know this shit by now. What's the matter with you? [Well, this was a tip off, the Moms would NEVER be in bed at 7:00 at night. She would get too bunged up about being unable to sleep through the night if she went to bed that early. When you're retired, you get constipated over dumb stuff like that, because you don't have anything real to worry about.]

Anyhoo, that was the tip off that this Moms was not MY Moms and that made this Daddums not MY Daddums.

"Sir, I'm sorry. I don't think I'm your kid."

"Well, you could be, I have nine of them."

I apologized and we hung up and I love that sweet old guy, who oddly even happens to possess the same name as my Daddums: Larry. I would be honoured to be one of Larry's kids. What a sweetheart. God bless him.

He was so nice, I was tempted to go on talking with him. I sort of wish I had.

17 comments:

gingermagnolia said...

Agreed - Ms. Moon should be required reading.

Ms. Moon said...

What a great fucking story! "I have nine of them." Sometimes when I get a wrong number the person is so nice I sort of want to ask them if they'd like to meet for coffee. But I never do.
It was a party and a half, talking to you last night. Golly. That was the most fun I've had in a long, long time. And you know what? YOU ARE A GENIUS! I can tell. I'm a mother. I know these things.
And adorable.
Love...Ms. Moon
P.S. Let's talk again soon.

downtown guy said...

Mama was so excited to have talked to you!

Maggie May said...

I'm so glad the two of you talked. That's just cool.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ms. Moon,
Stop calling me a damn genius. It's too much to live up to! I'm actually only occasionally witty, and kind people, such as yourself, mistake it for depth.

Love you!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Ginger,
You're a smart chick. I dig that about you.

Have a great weekend.

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

DTG,
You can call me anytime, too, you know.

I was telling Ms. Moon how SMART you are and that you astound me. Of course, she knew that already. Were your ears burning?

Love, SB.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Thanks, dear Maggie. It was TOTALLY cool. You said it, girlfriend.

Love,

SB

May said...

Yeah, first thing Mama told me today was that she got to talk to you. She said, "I have her number. It's on the phone list in the kitchen." all smug sounding, as she should be. I think I squealed. Now you HAVE to come visit!!! Because we are all so EXCITED!!!!
And that other story was great, too. What a nice man!
How is the new kitten?
I love you,
May

The Dish said...

Awesome that you got to chat with Ms. Moon. I need to wander on over to her page and introduce myself!

And 9 kids? You reckon you might have a few too many if you cannot recognize their voice on the phone?

Petit fleur said...

That's is so funny! You know, it would probably crack his ass up if you called him back. :-p

I've noticed I cuss more when I'm at your place. I wonder what the hell that's all about.
xo pf

Sarcastic Bastard said...

May,
I love you, as always, and I have missed you. I asked how you were doing last night and reminded your mama, who well knows already, what a writer you are! Get back to it. I love your blog posts.

Love you so much. I am coming to visit in the spring/summer, and we shall part-ay!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
Do wander over. You will appreciate her wisdom, I'm sure. She is seriously my idol.

Love you so,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

PF,
I consider it a compliment that you cuss more at my place.

Thank you.

Chic Mama said...

I am giggling away here at that! Really really funny...thank you, I think this is the first time I have smiled today. XXXX

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I am very happy to hear I made you smile, Chic Mama.

Love you. Have a great weekend.

SB

Bethany said...

It's so fun when blog friends become real friends. How great for you two. Gives one the warm fuzzies, as you both seem genius and hilarious and sweeter than sweet to me.
I agree with PF, you make swearing fun and acceptable. But I'm not being influenced today.
See, I have not cursed one bit.
Oh, my therapist said, "stupid ass" last night and I thought it was fantastic.
I love this story about the phone call. How funny funny funny!