Friday, November 6, 2009

Why SB Is Not Interested in Dating in a Nutshell

Hey there how are you so apparently [website] thinks that we would be a good match so I’d like to get to know you I want to say that I am not here to play games and I know what I want in a woman so I am going to write what I want and if it sounds like you and if you like my profile too then message me back and we will take it from there have a nice day and thanks for reading this and taking the time out of your day to do so I hope to hear from you soon. I want a nice down to earth sweet faithful smart girl who can keep up with me in a conversation I want someone I can finally be proud to take home to my parents and family and someone who will sit down with them to eat and actually talk to them I want someone also that understands that even though I am a nice guy I do have my needs and honestly I have a very high sex drive so I want a girl who doesn’t mind doing stuff in a committed relationship and can keep up with me when we are in bed last I don’t care about looks but I am a major major butt guy so I want a girl with a nice butt who doesn’t mind proving it to me when asked last I don’t care about looks but I am a major major butt guy so I want a girl with a nice butt who doesn’t mind proving it to me when asked

13 comments:

afk4life said...

SB
Yikes. And I thought I was bad about run-on sentences and forgotten punctuation.
Doug

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Doug,
Frankly I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than have to deal with potential dates like this one. Jesus.

downtown guy said...

Major Butt Guy, United States Butt Army, at your service!

Ms. Moon said...

I'm thinking that Major Butt Guy is really gay.

gingermagnolia said...

Yup, those kinds of things are pretty standard in internet dating, unfortunately.

The Dish said...

I want to meet that guy just so I can introduce him to this nifty little thing called punctuation. Asshat.

Doucheketeers like that would keep me out of the dating scene. But then if anything ever happens with The Husband and me, I will either start batting for the other team. Or become the crazy cat lady.

Changedit said...

Those people are the reason why I am single too. Is that phrase about the high sex drive supposed to attract you or turn you off? I am never quite sure.

Had to chuckle about your comment, Downtown Boy hehehe.

The Dish, we can do that together, you introduce him to punctuation and I prick him with a needle every time he gets it wrong :D

SB, my sweet, just come over here and give mamma some sweet loving ... and don't forget to prove it with your butt *muuuhaaahaa*

Love ya doll xxx

Bethany said...

oh Lordy. This made me laugh my butt off!

Sheria said...

LMAO! Having once signed myself up with eharmony.com, I've seen my share of similar nonsense. The eharmony thing was in my self-destructive desperate stage.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Dish,
I already am the crazy cat lady.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Changedit,
Love you back. Thanks for reading and for your comments. They crack me up. I know we'd hang, if we lived near each other.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Bethany,
Welcome to Sarcastic Bastard. We are a warped, but loving, family here. Please join us often.

Love,

SB

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sheria,
I just haven't been single long enough to be desperate yet. Give me time.

Love you,

SB